Bad Taste
that moment
Peter Costello 'let one rip' during a press conference last week. He was part way through explaining why the federal budget was in surplus while fuel excises crippled families when he suffered a case of 'mumblebum'.
"I find it very offensive," said Mr Howard. "He'd eaten a vindaloo curry the night before, along with some garlic naan bread. The result was a biological weapon of immense power."
Osama Mel Gibson?
Lethal Weapon star Mel Gibson has traded his crazy Murtagh character for the crazy Saddam Hussein in Jerry Bruckheimer's
Weapons of Mass Destruction, which should be released next May. The new film follows the story of a down-and-out dictator who teams up with oddball UN weapons inspector Hans Blix (to be played by Christopher Walken) to show the world community the true meaning of action and adventure.
Gibson was unsure whether or not people would believe that gunfights and explosions could happen in the Middle East, but said he'd give it his best shot.
I-Emma Go-Getta
"They asked me how I'd be remembered, and I said... as the PUBLIC TRANSPORT PREMIER! Man, I can't believe they print this stuff!"
Celebrity Skin 2
I heard something about The Artist Formerly Known As Prince getting a divorce, which I thought was a Mormon no-no. But what would I know? Anyway, I set off in search of images of TAFKA Prince, and found some interesting pics.
Who knew that he'd tried out for a part in the stage production of "Prince of Egypt"? Maybe he thought he was a shoe-in, having been a Prince and all. Kinda curious about auditioning for the part of Moses' sister though, but thats celebrity, huh?
I also found a photo of TAFKA's idol,
a real prince,
and some guy named Bob Prince.
Wow, princes everywhere. However, this ham-fisted montage of stupidity couldn't be complete without the original Prince...
Yeeeaaaahhhhh boooyyyyyyy!
Eddie & Jessie - The Truth
Respected TV journalist Stephen Colbert once warned that we should never let the facts get in the way of the truth. In keeping with this general truthiness, here's an update on yesterdays story.
Turns out that yesterday afternoon, Jessica Rowe fell down a set of stairs at home, fracturing her wrist. While reputedly 'sensible' media organizations have said it was an accident, I think we all know better.
Shocked by my discovery of the truth regarding Rowe, Nine chief Eddie McGuire, and a possible 'boning', poor Jess may have pulled off this stunt to distract people from her relationship with McGuire.
Rowe is pictured here saying "Oh no he didn't" when confronted with questions about this Blog.
Elsewhere, a high tech bikini has been unveiled that tells you when to get out of the sun. Unfortunately, it won't tell you your left nipple is cresting the swimwear.
Terrifying EDDIESICCA Beast Threatens Nine
First things first, I'm not often given to posting twice in a day. It's bad form. Uncultured. But I've found myself particularly enamoured with my MISS UNIVERSE post, which went up before I had my lunch. It was chicken florentine linguine, the frozen variety, and I was reading the 'paper while I choked down that wretched rubbish. It was in the aforementioned chewing and perusing that I spotted this gem, this shining example of modern journalism.
Channel Nine's on a sticky wicket
CHANNEL Nine boss Eddie McGuire and Jessica Rowe, the pregnant Today host he allegedly threatened to "bone", smiled and cuddled for the cameras yesterday.I'm sorry? BONE? Do they know what is implied when a man wants to 'bone' a woman?
The pair's choreographed display of goodwill came at a lunch for advertisers and sales executives, in which Mr McGuire announced the network faced a "titanic battle" against Channel Seven, and that he found this situation "very exciting".Which situation? The battle or the prospect of 'boning' Jessica Rowe?
Honestly. Meanwhile, Channel Ten are devastated at the news. "If we'd known she was up for that sort of thing, we'd have put Jess on Celebrity Big Brother years ago."
And to think, I STUDIED the craft of journalism at a UNIVERSITY! Seems you just have to be able to speak the language to make the grade now.
Miss-Represented
When Ms Puerto Rico won MISS UNIVERSE (written in capitals to denote how huge it is), I think a lot of people missed what the contest is really about. Boobs. And legs. While it's politically correct to talk about charity and intelligence and what good they can do for the world, there's still a bikini contest. I caught the start of the telecast last night, and they asked MISS UNIVERSE 2005 what she'd do after being MISS UNIVERSE. She talked about rubbish, I tuned out, but I was thinking "she'll probably continue to be a smoking hottie".
Which brings me to the point. Miss Puerto Rico: kinda hot. Not in this picture, mind you, but okay. Which brings me to the girl who should have won, being as its all about boobs anyway: Miss Slovak Republic.
BOOBS! LEGS! And what a smile, folks, what a smile! I don't know her name, and she may not be particularly clever. Hell, she might drink the blood of puppies. But I'll tell you what I DO know. She's hot. And that's all that should count in a MISS REDUNDANT PAGEANT.
Oh, props to Miss Australia, Erin McNaught. She had the good sense to get the girls out in a men's magazine. Classy!
Journey
Paul's going off in search of new tax havens
Happy Birthday!
I'm Feeling a Little Lazy
If this isn't funny you need to hand in your licence. DOUG!
Just Ridiculous
talk about too much time on your hands
Celebrity Skin 1
Bono visits proctologist. Doctor finds Bono himself up there.
HEY! YOU OVER THERE!
This is for that guy I saw running along my street the other morning. You know who you are.
YOU LOOK STUPID!!!
Honestly, you can't wear a radio headphone thing and expect to get away with it. Buy an iPod.
Global Warning
This is the reality of global warming. Here we have one of Sydney's beautiful beachside suburbs as it is today, and as it will be soon. This is irreversible.
Stealing Their Futures
This is a photo of a young Israeli girl who has been encouraged to write a message in Hebrew on one of the bombs that will be dropped on Lebanon. Is it any wonder there are continuing problems in the region?
Musicology 1
How good was Alice Cooper's Poison?
Fun Fact 2
Which means you could shout at the horizon and the sound would never get there...
Fun Fact
Newcastle, Australia, is spinning around the Earth at 1407km/h. So if you saw a perfect sunset and wanted to keep looking at it, you'd have to travel at a little over mach1 to keep it in sight. Cool, huh?
that moment 
Lethal Weapon star Mel Gibson has traded his crazy Murtagh character for the crazy Saddam Hussein in Jerry Bruckheimer's Weapons of Mass Destruction, which should be released next May. The new film follows the story of a down-and-out dictator who teams up with oddball UN weapons inspector Hans Blix (to be played by Christopher Walken) to show the world community the true meaning of action and adventure.
Respected TV journalist Stephen Colbert once warned that we should never let the facts get in the way of the truth. In keeping with this general truthiness, here's an update on yesterdays story.
CHANNEL Nine boss Eddie McGuire and Jessica Rowe, the pregnant Today host he allegedly threatened to "bone", smiled and cuddled for the cameras yesterday.
