News In Briefs

In the aftermath of what may or may not have been a nuclear test in North Korea, Dubya has come out and scolded Kooky Kim Jong Il for his "threat to international peace and security”.
“The transfer of nuclear weapons or material by North Korea to states or nonstate entities would be considered a grave threat to the United States,” Mr. Bush said. Almost as grave a threat as having a head of state who can't speak properly. News In Briefs has had it with talk of new-kew-ler weapons. Even Australian politicians have started saying new-kew-ler. It's pronounced NEW-CLEAR. I'll even let you have NEW-CLI-AR. Morons.

***BREAKING NEWS***
We can now reveal just what was going on in North Korea when that explosion occured. Seems Kimmy was simply remaking 'Star Wars' for the Korean audience. Seems Kim feels Darth Vader got a bad rap, and Luke Skywalker should have followed in his father's footsteps by continuing an evil empire that antagonised the forces of goodness and niceness.