News In Briefs

What A Day!

So much is happening I can't pick a story to poke fun at. So here's this morning's News In Briefs.


Today Tonight presenter Naomi Robson and friends have been detained in West Papua. It's understood the Australian government is petitioning Indonesia NOT to release them. "We're sick of it. Used car salesmen are dodgy, we get it!"

Paris Hilton has been mobbed after a fashion show in New York. While reports say that she was surrounded by photographers, we just have to believe one of them was holding a knife.

Australian singer Toby Rand's free ticket to rock'n'roll glory has been pulled from him at the last minute after the outright favourite failed to win the US reality TV show Rockstar: Supernova.Canadian rocker Lukas Rossi was crowned the winner this morning and has now earned the right to front drummer Tommy Lee's band, Supernova.
Rossi, who has similar looks to Australian Idol contestant Lee Harding, is described on the Rockstar: Supernova website as a gifted singer with a "Jeff Buckley meets Freddie Mercury" style. We can only assume that means he's got bad teeth but will get them fixed before outing himself as gay, getting drunk, and drowning in the Mississippi.

Now the BIG story is the shooting at Dawson College in Montreal, Canada. Details are sketchy but it looks like there are six dead, several injured, and the shooter may be dead also. The gunman was allegedly dressed in a black trenchcoat and had a 'cold face'.

I don't want to make light of the situation, but odds are good one of the following will be named as responsible: The Matrix, Marilyn Manson, GTA San Andreas, bullys, heavy metal, violent films, video games, comic books, Lord of the Rings, Leonardo DiCaprio, Elijah Wood, and Lindsay Lohan.

LONELYGIRL15 has been outed as a fraud! The youtube.com star is Kiwi Jessica Rose, an actress who joined forces with a couple of filmmakers to create a marketable brand name. Full story at http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/09/13/1157826998165.html
Next time you're at youtube, check out 'Chad Vader' or 'Ask A Ninja' instead.

posted by Steve @ Thursday, September 14, 2006