News In Briefs

Digital Freedom

2006-11-22T12:15:00.000+11:00

Wow, I’ve been super-busy and haven’t had a chance to post. There is a major copyright issue going through Australian Federal Parliament at the moment, so we’ve started a petition here: http://www.gopetition.com.au/online/10234.html

Please sign it, and let people know about it.

Bringing You Up-To-Date

2006-11-14T17:39:00.000+11:00

I've been fairly busy the last couple days, what with MP sex scandals, dead celebrities and international turmoil. I'm worn out. So here's a brief rundown on what's been happening:

PM John Howard has won a High Court case which extends the Commonwealth's constitutional powers over industrial relations.

Belinda Emmett has died after a long battle with cancer. Sad Aussies were gladened by an announcement that Rove Live will not air again this year.

U2 have played a few dates, upset a few fans wth poor seats, and Bono has bothered anyone who'd listen.

MP Milton Orkopoulos has been found in a poor condition in his car at the Charlestown water tower just days after being charged with drug and child-sex offences. Police say he was concious and he is being treated at Mater Hospital for a drug overdose.

Two of the college fraternity brothers shown guzzling alcohol and making racist remarks in the Borat movie have sued the studio and producers for fraud, saying filmmakers duped them into appearing in the movie by getting them drunk. A spokesman for the film's distributor, 20th Century Fox, declined to comment except to say, "The lawsuit has no merit."

Beyonce Knowles and Eva Longoria will play lesbian lovers in a new movie. Men everywhere silently said "YESSSS!!!!"

The UK's sensational mass market Sunday tabloid, the News of the World, reports that Britney Spears' soon to be ex-husband Kevin Federline is shopping around an explicit video of his antics with his wife on honeymoon. And it claims he has already been offered $65 million by an online download site for the tape - hot on the heels of rumours that excerpts of the video are already appearing on the internet. Trashy star in home-made porn? Pamela who?

And finally, the best invention of the year goes to the Wearable Instrument Shirt. Check it out at http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/11/13/1163266457568.html

Treaty, Eh?

2006-11-10T17:15:00.000+11:00

It seems that nowadays we need only to look at what a politician won’t say to glean the truth of a situation. Foreign Minister Alexander Downer is very excited about his new treaty with Indonesia, which may or may not be a security agreement. Or defensive pact. Well, whatever it is, it isn’t like the treaty Labor PM Paul Keating signed with them in 1995. But Alex isn’t quite sure why. When the issue of nuclear (sorry, new-kew-ler) agreements came up, he pleaded ignorance to the ABCs AM news program. Seems The Age and the Sydney Morning Herald are just beating up a non-issue. Fair enough, ‘Lex. Those two papers are known for their tabloid nonsense, scare-mongering, and news invention.

The fact of it is that Australia wants to sell uranium to… well… anyone, really. Indonesia wants to buy some. Sweet! We can sell uranium to the world’s largest Islamic state as part of our treaty. After all, we have their word they won’t develop weapons. And if you can’t trust the Muslim governments of the world, then who can you trust? Expect to see less West Papuan refugees in illegal detention.

Warning

2006-11-09T22:03:00.000+11:00

This is to the band "Mattafix". Your name sounds suspiciously similar to my own. Mudd-ef-ex. Matt-af-ix. see the F X syllable combination? Not cool. This is your only warning Mattafix, change the name or I'll unleash the attack cat.

Attack Cat: surprisingly affectionate after a scratch under the chin

Run Donnie Run

2006-11-09T21:55:00.000+11:00

It's somehow appropriate that Comedy Central broke the story of Donald Rumsfeld's sacking. After all, he'd given them so much fodder over the years. Here are some highlights:

*These are all ACTUAL QUOTES

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."

"I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said, but I know what I think... and I assume it's what I said."

"We do know of certain knowledge that he (Osama Bin Laden) is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead."

"I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past - I think the past was not predictable when it started."

"Oh goodness ... I shouldn't say 'I don't think so', although that's what I think."

"If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate ... necessarily accurate ... it might also not be inaccurate, but I mean ... I'm disinclined to mislead anyone."

Bloody Belgians

2006-11-09T21:52:00.000+11:00

A Belgian tourist who slapped a stick on the water to make a crocodile come closer for a better photograph should be nominated for an idiots' award after it bit him on the leg, says the doctor who treated him.

Because of the tourist's actions, authorities say the creature will have to be removed.

Stefaan Vanthournout, 24, was with a group of about six other tourists who ignored crocodile warning signs and waded into Masons Creek, on the south side of Cape Tribulation in Far North Queensland, after spotting the two-metre saltwater crocodile lying on the riverbank.

"They looked across the creek and they saw this crocodile there on the other bank," Queensland Parks and Wildlife Service spokesman, Mark Read, said.

"They then waded across the creek to the other side. It's pretty risky behaviour."

As they did so, the crocodile, which locals call Allan, slipped into the water.

"Then the gentleman in question wanted to get a better photograph of the crocodile, which by this stage had submerged.

"And the gentleman then picked up a short stick, approximately 30 centimetres long, and was tapping the water within about a metre and a half of the crocodile to try and get a better photograph.

"The animal has then lunged at him and has inflicted a single bite to the left knee."

One of the other tourists raced away to get help from the local pharmacy.

"We just had someone coming running in off the beach saying someone had been attacked by a crocodile," Doctor Kelly Lash, owner of the Cape Trib Pharmacy, said.

Dr Lash called an ambulance while his partner headed down to pick up the victim, who he said was more shocked than physically injured.

"It just let go right away. He was sitting there in shock [and there was] a little bit of blood," he said.

"It lunged out and grabbed his knee and the worst part is he didn't get the photo."

"I tell you, it's a candidate for the Darwin Awards - the awards for doing stupid things."

The Darwin Awards "salute the improvement of the human genome by honouring those who remove themselves from it," says the awards' website.

Dr Lash said it wasn't the first time an animal had bitten Mr Vanthournout.

"The funny thing is his girlfriend told us he's been bitten by a monkey before."

Mr Read said the tourist was extremely lucky not to have received more serious injuries.

"He's very lucky. The animal is estimated at two-metres long and 70 -85 kilos in weight. Had the animal say bitten him on the face and then done a death roll, which is quite often part of their pray catching behaviour ... normally there's a much higher degree of injury."

The crocodile now has to be removed for public safety reasons, he said.

"The crocodile will be targeted for removal. We have an obligation to minimise the risk to all users of the area from crocodiles."

People should take extreme care in crocodile habitats, he said.

"It's one of our key messages. People shouldn't be wading and swimming in crocodile habitats. This is a good example of what can happen when you interfere with dangerous animal."

Mr Vanthournout was treated at Mossman Hospital for his injuries but was released last night.

Oh, George

2006-11-09T21:39:00.000+11:00

Democrats have seized control of the US Senate and with it complete domination of Congress, as US President George W Bush licked his wounds and let his defence chief fall on his sword.
In sharp contrast to his buoyant, confident demeanour in the lead up to yesterday's election, a contrite George W Bush faced reporters today, describing the defeat of his Republicans as "thumping''.
And that was before consensus emerged that the Democrats had taken the sixth and final Republican Senate seat they needed to control the chamber.Bush now faces the toughest two years of his presidency, with Democrats controlling both the Senate and the House of Representatives, and promising voters sweeping change, especially where the Iraq war is concerned.
After telling reporters he must shoulder "a large part of the responsibility'' for the Republican drubbing, Bush stood beside Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld as he announced his resignation.
Just a week ago the president was defending Rumsfeld, but today -- after an election defeat that reflected deep public anger over the war in Iraq -- he said it was time for change.
"Secretary Rumsfeld and I agreed that sometimes it's necessary to have a fresh perspective,'' Bush said in the abrupt announcement during his post-election press conference.
The president said Robert M Gates, who was CIA director under George Bush Snr father, had been nominated to run the Pentagon.
The White House hopes that replacing Rumsfeld with Gates will help refresh US policy on the deeply unpopular war and perhaps establish a stronger rapport with the new Democrat-dominated Congress.
In a later appearance at the White House with Rumsfeld and Gates at his side, Bush praised both men, thanked Rumsfeld for his service and predicted that Gates would bring fresh ideas.
"The secretary of defence must be a man of vision who can see threats still over the horizon and prepare our nation to meet them. Bob Gates is the right man to meet both of these critical challenges,'' Bush said.
In brief remarks, Rumsfeld described the Iraq conflict as a "little understood, unfamiliar war'' that is ``complex for people to comprehend''.
Asked whether Rumsfeld's departure signalled a new direction in a war that has claimed the lives of more than 2,800 US troops and an unknown number of Iraqis and has cost more than $US300 billion ($A390 billion), Bush said: "Well, there's certainly going to be new leadership at the Pentagon.''

Democrats were jubilant today on forecasts that both chambers had fallen under their control.
Jim Webb's tight win over Republican Senator George Allen in Virginia assured Democrats of 51 seats when the Senate convenes in January.
"The days of the do-nothing Congress are over,'' declared Nevada Democratic Senator Harry Reid, in line to become majority leader.
Americans had spoken "clearly and decisively in favour of Democrats leading this country in a new direction,'' he added.
A day after weathering what was arguably the worst defeat of his political life, Bush was subdued.
"I thought we were going to do fine yesterday. Shows what I know. But I thought we were going to be fine in the election,'' he shrugged.
"If you look at (it) race by race, it was close. The cumulative effect, however, was not too close. It was a thumping.
"I'm obviously disappointed with the outcome of the election and, as the head of the Republican Party, I share a large part of the responsibility.''
He pledged to work with the Democrats, who during the campaign called him incompetent and dangerous. Bush shot back with accusations that Democrats were content to let terrorists attack the United States.
"This isn't my first rodeo,'' Bush said today. "I understand when campaigns end and I know when governing begins, and I'm going to work with people of both parties.''
"People say unfortunate things at times. But if you hold grudges in this line of work, you're never going to get anything done. And my intention is to get some things done.
"They (Democrats) care about the security of this country like I do.''
Democrats, meanwhile, spent today telling Americans they had been heard.
"This new Democratic majority has heard the voices of the American people,'' said Nancy Pelosi, the liberal California Democrat all but certain to become the first female speaker of the House of Representatives.
"We will honour that trust. We will not disappoint.'' Pelosi, who just weeks earlier had railed against Bush, also struck a conciliatory tone and said any effort to impeach Bush ``is off the table''.
The Senate had teetered at 50 Democrats, 49 Republicans for most of today, with Virginia hanging in the balance.
A count by The Associated Press finally showed Webb had won the seat by just 7,236 votes.
Allen is yet to conceded, but Webb moved swiftly to establish himself as the winner.
"The vote's been counted and Jim won,'' said campaign spokeswoman Kristian Denny Todd.
Some absentee ballots remained to be counted, she said, but Webb considered that "a formality more than anything else''.
In the House count, Democrats won 229 seats and were leading in three, putting them on track for a 30-seat gain if trends held in remaining unsettled races. Party standings in that event would be 232-203.
Without losing any seats of their own, Democrats captured 28 Republican-held seats.
The party won in every region of the country and hoped to strengthen their majority by besting Republican incumbents in eight races that were too close to call.
With the Republicans booted from power in both chambers of Congress, departing Speaker Dennis Hastert announced he would not run for his party's leadership in the House, instead saying he intended to devote his time to representing his Illinois constituents.
AP/AFP

Duck Season Opens In US

2006-11-08T13:50:00.000+11:00

That’s right, folks, it’s duck season. Well, lame duck season. Yes, Dubya has lost control of Congress and looks set to lose the Senate as well. Poor feller… seems the people aren’t buying the lies any more. A poll of voters has shown that the war in Iraq is the biggest reason for the massive swing towards the Democrats. Also on the top ten list is the general incompetence or incarceration of many of Bush’s cronies.

So, in Georgie’s last two years we may see the troops home from Iraq. How embarrassment?

Melbourne Cup

2006-11-07T15:14:00.000+11:00

Japanese-ridden Delta Blues has just won the Melbourne Cup. Underdog favourite Tawqueet finished up towards the back, and favourite Yeats didn’t place. Just goes to show any horse can win the Cup on the day.

"Not Justice But Revenge"

2006-11-07T07:38:00.000+11:00

Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein has been found guilty of crimes against humanity... or war crimes... or something. The guy was bad news, okay? And it's this sort of trial that will surely lead to all sorts of nastiness in the middle east.
Don't get me wrong, I don't like Hussein at all. But I do believe in a fair trial, and the rules of law. While Saddam is unquestionably guilty, history will record that he was convicted by a virtual kangaroo court and sentenced to death without a fair trial.
The US President, George Bush, on the way to campaign in Nevada, said: "There is still a lot of work to do in Iraq, but this is an important achievement on the path to a free and just and unified society.
"Saddam Hussein's trial is a milestone in the Iraqi people's effort to replace the rule of a tyrant with the rule of law."
The Prime Minister, John Howard, also welcomed the verdict. "The whole process of the trial is a sign of democratic hope, and I believe the world should see it as such," Mr Howard said on television.
Britain said Saddam had been held to account for his role in ordering the deaths of 148 Shiite villagers in Dujail, north of Baghdad. The Prime Minister, Tony Blair, did not comment publicly, but the Foreign Secretary, Margaret Beckett, said in a statement: "It is right that those accused of such crimes against the Iraqi people should face Iraqi justice."
The British QC Geoffrey Robertson agreed it had been right to bring the former dictator to trial for genocidal attacks, but said the judiciary was not independent and Saddam should have been tried in a UN court.
"Saddam's public execution will provide an obscene spectacle, an example not of justice but of wild justice, otherwise known as revenge," the Australian-born lawyer said.
On another note, John Howard said that while he opposed the use of the death penalty in Australia or against Australians, "what other countries do with the death penalty is other countries' business". Unless of course it's Aussie drug smuglers in Indonesia. THAT's a different story altogether.

Six Months In A Leaky Boat

2006-11-02T12:52:00.000+11:00

This may be the case for Fijians who are stocking up in case there’s another military coup. The new Prime Minister is looking at pardoning George Speight and his pals who led the 2000 coup. Fiji’s military chief is so dismayed at the possible release of coup-sters that HE has threatened a coup.

Rabbit Season! Duck Season! Rabbit Season! Duck Season! Duck Season! Rabbit Season!

… and they wonder why we don’t take them seriously.

Running With Nazis

2006-11-01T18:03:00.000+11:00

November 1, 2006 - 12:03PM
The US actor Alec Baldwin wants to be removed as narrator of an Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary called Running with Arnold, saying filmmakers went too far by including images of Nazi rallies.
Baldwin wrote in a posting on The Huffington Post website that he agreed to narrate the documentary about the political rise of the actor-turned-governor based on reading the script.
He said that when he saw the film as he recorded the tracks he was "somewhat dismayed by some of the images".
"The filmmakers hammer Schwarzenegger over his private behaviour and his record as Governor," Baldwin wrote, noting he is not a supporter of the Governor.
"But Schwarzenegger deserves to be treated fairly and the film's images of Nazi rallies were over the line."
The California Governor's office declined to comment today.
Baldwin, who could not be reached for comment on Monday, wrote that he asked that his voice be removed and said he returned payment. He also had his attorney issue a cease-and-desist demand against the filmmakers.
The producer, Mike Gabrawy, said Baldwin had the script for more than a month and that they tried several times to set up screenings with the actor, even delaying recording the narration to accommodate him.
The film includes a photograph of the former Austrian President Kurt Waldheim, who was invited to Schwarzenegger's wedding but did not attend.
In the photo, Mr Waldheim is dressed in his World War II Wehrmacht uniform.
In 1987, Mr Waldheim was barred from entering the United States following an investigation into his activities as a lieutenant in a German unit associated with Nazi atrocities. Mr Waldheim insisted he was innocent.
Another image in the documentary shows the Nazi party paperwork of Schwarzenegger's father, Mr Gabrawy said. Other images of the Third Reich have been replaced.
Mr Gabrawy said he learned Baldwin did not want to be associated with the film days after the narration was recorded.
"What's really shocking about this situation is that this is not really a critical look at Arnold - there's a lot more we could've done to be critical," said Mr Gabrawy.
Mr Gabrawy said distribution of the film was going ahead.
-AP

Sex Not Funny

2006-11-01T18:00:00.000+11:00

In the first comprehensive global study of sexual behaviour, British researchers found that people aren't losing their virginity at ever younger ages, married people have the most sex, and there is no firm link between promiscuity and sexually transmitted diseases. So maybe it's just comedians who don't get any from their spouses. Can't say I blame them.

Getting Grumpy

2006-10-31T13:10:00.000+11:00

You just know its Halloween when Hollywood couple Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe split up. What a tragedy, the Cruel Intentions duo over after all these years.

More of a tragedy is the fact that we’ve lovingly embraced Halloween here in Oz. Maybe it’s a part of our desire to become the US (just look at our foreign policy, economic policy, neo-conservative government, fast-food outlets, misspelling mum, etc). Does anyone think we REALLY need another excuse to purchase?

And this business of trick-or-treat. If someone lobs eggs at the wrong house, it may spark a race riot. Perhaps I feel I’m being terrorized by the ghouls hiding around the corner. Can I call ASIO?

Nonsense!

A Sting In The Tail For The Overweight

2006-10-30T14:33:00.000+11:00

SOUTH Park's creators have made a cartoon poking fun at Crocodile Hunter
Steve Irwin's death as his daughter Bindi prepares to launch a fitness DVD
"taking the bite out of obesity".

South Park has revealed an episode in which Mr Irwin attends a fancy dress
party in hell with a stingray sticking out of his chest.

Mr Irwin died on September 4 when a stingray barb pierced his chest while
diving on the Great Barrier Reef.

"We have offended people in the past and probably will again," a South Park
spokesman told a London newspaper.

The episode had been scheduled to air in the US on Wednesday.

The timing could not be worse after Mr Irwin's eight-year-old daughter
yesterday announced she would launch her first DVD Bindi Kidfitness.

Alternative titles included Don't Get Stung By Obesity.

ARIA 06

2006-10-29T23:04:00.000+11:00

Bernard Fanning gets Album of the Year for ''Tea & Sympathy'' proving that
his songwriting transcends his band Powderfinger. Meanwhile Eskimo Joe took
out honours for Best Single with ''Black Fingernails Red Wine'', a song
that's catchy if nothing else.
The highlight of the evening came from silverchair playing a cover of
Midnight Oil's ''Don't Wanna Be The One''. The Oils were inducted into the
hall of fame. No one can deny Peter Garrett's rising popularity with
silverchair's Daniel Johns spraypainting PG 4 PM on the set.
There was a general appeal made for Aussie music to get back to sticking it
up the people in power and to take a step away from 'get famous quick' TV
shows.
Hear hear.

Deja Vu

2006-10-28T12:11:00.000+10:00

Forensic investigators have made a shocking discovery about the Peter Brock crash in Western Australia. Contrary to popular belief, the car was fitted with a Peter Brock Polariser. It is believed that the unit failed to do anything at all, just like on the VL Calais Director, at which point Brock departed from the road like HDT did in 1987.

Dress Code

2006-10-28T11:48:00.000+10:00

So a lot of women are upset at a Muslim cleric who says women who dress like tramps invite rape. But what about the traditional Islamic garb? Don’t those women invite attacks from ninjas?

Satan's Little Helper

2006-10-27T15:08:00.000+10:00

US Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld has struck out at critics of the war in Iraq, warning them to “back off”. Rumsfeld said that while benchmarks for security, political and economic progress are valuable, "it's difficult. We're looking out into the future. No one can predict the future with absolute certainty." He said the goals have no specific deadlines or consequences if they are not met by specific dates.
"You're looking for some sort of a guillotine to come falling down if some date isn't met," Rumsfeld told reporters. "That is not what this is about."
“You can’t hold us accountable for our actions. I know there are those Nancy-boys in the liberal media who keep talking about Enron and DeLay and Abramoff, but we’ve had a strong track record of doing what the President thinks is right, regardless of what anyone else says.”
Noting that this is the political season, Rumsfeld also complained that critics and the media are trying to "make a little mischief" by trying to "find a little daylight between what the Iraqis say or someone in the United States says. And we can’t have daylight in the Whitehouse, Cheney’s uncomfortable with it.”
When questioned about the goals and benchmarks, Rumsfeld responded “that kind of talk is exactly the kind of performance-based assessment the Democrats want you to buy into. It’s not that easy, you can’t just sit down and say ‘let’s bring the troops home, let’s create a stable democratic nation in the middle east,’ because if we do that, we lose our relevance, and when we lose our relevance, the terrorists win.”

Peek-A-Boo Scandal

2006-10-27T13:50:00.000+10:00

A "sexy" pole-dancing kit has been pulled from the toys and games section of a website run by Britain's biggest retailer after protests from outraged parents.
The Peekaboo pole-dancing kit, which has a "sexy garter" to help "unleash the sex kitten inside" was sold in Tesco Direct's toys and games section, The Daily Mail reported.
"Soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars," its blurb reads.
"Unleash the sex kitten inside ... simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!"
The £50 ($125) kit includes a 2.6-metre chrome pole, a "sexy dance garter" and a DVD demonstrating suggestive dance moves, the report said.
However, family campaigners slammed the kit's status as a toy, saying it would "destroy children's lives".
"It is an open invitation to turn the youngest children on to sexual behaviour," Dr Adrian Rogers of the Family First group told The Daily Mail.
"This will be sold to four-, five- and six-year olds. This is a most dangerous toy that will contribute towards destroying children's innocence.
"Children are being encouraged to dance round a pole, which is interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol.
"This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children."
The Daily Mail report said Tesco had removed the kit from the toys and games area of its site, but would still sell it as a "fitness accessory".
The retailer denied the pole-dancing kit was sexually oriented and it was clearly marked for adult use.
"Pole dancing is an increasing exercise craze. This item is for people who want to improve their fitness and have fun at the same time," a spokesman said.
Other British retailers had been forced to remove sexually suggestive children's products from their shelves, including padded bras with a "Little Miss Naughty" logo, the report said.
smh.com.au

Sad FM

2006-10-27T08:31:00.000+10:00

One of our local radio stations just finished yet another countdown. This time it was the best 2006 songs of all time. And so, after weeks of drivel we’re presented with the top 20 (“top” being loosely related to best at best).
See the finalists here: http://www.kofm.com.au/prizes/essential/top20.php

I personally think number 13 is the best. What do you think?

***It’s a Friday Survey!!!***

Coke!... Uh, Blow! (Sorry About The Trademark Infringement)

2006-10-26T16:49:00.000+10:00

7-Eleven has refused to carry Cocaine Energy Drink in its stores after complaints about the name of the beverage. This isn’t the first time the convenience retailer has had a problem with ‘pep-juice’. Some Hindu franchisees refused to carry Red Bull because it misrepresents a sacred animal as a caffeinated alternative to sleep.

Ghetto Gospel

2006-10-26T16:44:00.000+10:00

New film ‘The Colour Of The Cross’ by Jean Claude LaMarre will feature a black Jesus. LaMarre, who plays Jesus, wrote, directed and financed the film.
"It's very important because (the film) is going to provide an image of Jesus for African-Americans that is no longer under the control of whites," says Stephenson Humphries-Brooks, an associate professor of religious studies at New York's Hamilton College and author of "Cinematic Savior: Hollywood's Making of the American Christ."
What Jesus looked like has long been debated by theologians around the world. Different cultures have imagined him in different ways, says Stephen Prothero, chairman of the religion department at Boston University. In Japan, Jesus looks Japanese. In Africa, he is black. But in America he is almost always white, like the fair-haired savior painted by Leonardo Da Vinci in "The Last Supper" in 1495.
While some black churches have images of a black Jesus behind the altar and others have claimed Christ was black, Prothero says "none of those arguments or images have filtered much into the mainstream."
It looks like a Ghetto Passion is on the cards.
“It provides a positive image of blacks, something that's been scant in the U.S.,” says the Rev. Cecil "Chip" Murray, longtime leader of L.A.'s First African Methodist Episcopal Church and a producer of the film.
Yep, black man arrested for no crime, tried and found guilty, then executed. WAY positive.
It’s taken over a hundred years to get a black Jesus onto the silver screen. News In Briefs wonders how much longer till we have a Palestinian (or HISTORICALLY ACCURATE) Jesus.

Pretty Silly

2006-10-26T16:28:00.000+10:00

The National Federation for the Blind is suing Target in the US because it’s web site is inaccessible by blind people.
Screen-reading software like JAWS and HAL have helped blind people to navigate the internet opening up communication and shopping options.
Rather than let Target get away with it’s flashy graphics, NFB wants ALL website to be readable by blind-enabling software.
YouTube and Flickr are anxiously awaiting the verdict.

FINALLY! Real Drama On RAMSI Street

2006-10-25T16:33:00.000+10:00

It looks like the nations of the South Pacific want to give Australia a time-out, and not the tasty chocolate kind. Attempts to extradite Julian Moti have been met with accusations of bullying by Soloman Islands Prime Minister Manasseh Sogavare. Here’s the latest from AAP:

Sogavare fears he will be arrested over the Julian Moti affair when he returns home later this week.
Sogavare is in Fiji for the Pacific Islands Forum and has told his Papua New Guinea counterpart he could be arrested when he flies home on Thursday, PNG's Post-Courier newspaper reported today.
On Friday, a day after Sogavare left for the forum, police raided his offices in Honiara looking for evidence of involvement in Moti's illegal entry into the Solomons from PNG.
Moti - an Australian lawyer who is a friend and adviser to Sogavare - was able to flee PNG, aboard a PNG military plane, despite Australia's efforts to extradite him on child sex charges.
Sogavare wants the Australian to become his country's next attorney-general and has refused Canberra's demands to hand him over.
The Solomons Immigration Minister Peter Shanel has already been arrested on deception charges related to Moti's arrival in the Solomons, and Sogavare fears the same fate, the newspaper said.
The Post-Courier said Somare tried to offer Sogavare some comfort when the pair discussed the Solomons leader's fears of arrest.
He told Sogavare he hoped "Australia would not go to that extent of arresting the Solomons prime minister".
In Honiara, Sogavare's press secretary Deli Oso said she and other staff had heard rumours that the prime minister might be arrested upon his return.
"If there is a plan then the plan is illegal," she said.
During Friday's raid, Solomons and Australian police serving there seized a fax machine thought to have been used to send an exemption order to Moti, authorising him to enter the Solomons without valid travel documents.
Canberra had earlier cancelled his Australian passport.
A Honiara court has been told the immigration minister Shanel denied issuing Moti with an exemption order.
However just such a document, signed by Shanel, was allegedly made, according to Solomons Police Commissioner, Australian Shane Castles.
Sogavare - together with the leaders of PNG, Fiji and Vanuatu - issued a statement yesterday condemning the raid on his Honiara offices as provocative and unnecessary.
It was also a "a serious violation of Solomon Islands territorial sovereignty and integrity," the statement said.
Somare went further, later labelling Australia arrogant over the raid and Canberra's decision to suspend ministerial contact with PNG until it explains Moti's escape aboard a PNG military plane.
The Moti affair has severely damaged Australia's diplomatic relations with the Solomons and PNG.
Sogavare has threatened to oust Australians serving with the Regional Assistance Mission to the Solomon Islands (RAMSI) if Canberra continues to pursue Moti.
At the forum in Fiji today, he presented Pacific leaders with a plan to reduce Australia's role in the mission.
But it is understood to have been rejected by forum members, who fear what might happen in the Solomons if the Australians were pulled or forced out of the country.
Meanwhile, Moti - who is on bail on charges of illegally entering the Solomons - appeared for mention in the Honiara Magistrates Court today. He did not comment to the media.
Moti's associate and Sogavare's nephew, Robson Djokovic, also appeared today on charges of aiding Moti's escape from PNG.
He said it was obvious that the pursuit of Moti was politically motivated.
Djokovic was on the PNG flight with Moti and Honiara lawyer Chris Hapa but said they and the Solomons government had nothing to do with organising it.
"You can refer to us as cargo," Djokovic said.
Meanwhile, Melbourne silk Nathan Moshinsky left the Solomons today after cutting short his posting as the Solomons solicitor-general.
Sogavare last week threatened to "deal with" Moshinsky and the police chief Castles, accusing them of "spearheading" the "unnecessary arrest, detention and humiliation" of his immigration minister.
He accused them of being influenced "by their ultimate loyalty to Canberra".
Moshinsky cited family issues and the deteriorating political situation as reasons for leaving. He said he knew nothing of reports the government was moving to deport him.
Castles - targeted for removal by Sogavare - today said he was offended by suggestions he was a puppet for Canberra and was seeking advice on the Solomons government's threats to slash his wages.

Watering Down The Truth

2006-10-24T14:13:00.000+10:00

This is our first attempt at emailing posts in, so bear with me if we lose something in the translation.

Anglican Archbishop Phillip Jensen has copped flak for opposing the ordination of gay ministers in the Church of England. His detractors highlighted the good examples set by some of the openly gay members of the Church. Jensen responded by quoting the Bible. Expect further division in traditional Churches as the issue of homosexuality butts up against the foundations of the Faith.

The Hamster Speaks

2006-10-24T12:22:00.000+10:00

Upside down and breathing a field full of dirt, Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond was close to death.
Speaking for the first time since suffering a serious brain injury when he overturned a jet car in a high-speed crash last month, Hammond said he felt lucky to be alive.
"I was upside down inhaling a field," Hammond told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper, in which he also writes a motoring column.
"My nose and eyes were full of earth. I'd gone ploughing on my head."
Hammond was filming for the popular BBC television motoring series when the jet-powered dragster, travelling at 464kmh, spun off the runway at Elvington airfield, York, on September 20.
"My very last thought was, 'Oh bugger, that's gone wrong. Well, we're checking out now. You've had it,'" Hammond said.
"I was aware of my brain saying, 'We'll wave the flag,' and that was the point I passed out.
"Doctors use a point system. Fifteen is normal, three is a flatline. I was a three. I was that close to being dead."
The 36-year-old spent time in intensive care and is expected to make a full recovery.
He is recuperating in the care of wife Mindy, 35, and daughters Izzy, six, and Willow, three.
The only obvious signs of his ordeal are a bloodshot left eye and a chipped tooth, leading him to joke that he had no scars to show off at the pub.
"There are people who fall off their trikes at the age of four who've got better injuries than me," he said.
"I've been through hell and I've got nothing to show for it except a chipped tooth!"
But Hammond, who suffered short-term memory loss known as traumatic amnesia, also revealed a more serious side to his injuries.
He suffered excruciating pain and struggled to make sense of what had happened after he was reduced to a child-like state when he emerged from his coma.
"My mind was like an office that had been utterly ransacked," he said.
"It was a total mess and I couldn't find my way around any more.
"It was utterly terrifying - the scariest thing that's ever happened to me."
The BBC has not confirmed the return of Top Gear to television screens.
The Daily Mirror said Hammond was aware the show was in the spotlight as an investigation into the crash takes place.
"On Top Gear we live in a world where we have to deal with an element of risk," Hammond said.
"It's our job to minimise it.
"The very fact that I made it is testimony to the fact that the precautions we ordinarily take are worth taking. I'm living proof that safety works."
AAP

We're Back!

2006-10-23T17:45:00.000+10:00

Well folks, News In Briefs is back from the Lexmark Indy 300 on the Gold Coast. Let me tell you, it's quite possibly the biggest party in Australia. You may scoff and claim that New Years Eve in Sydney is big, or maybe the Spring Carnival down in Melbourne, but Indy is a 96 hour party. Non-stop. Seriously.
We news types are generally a little more conservative than most, and so we spent time sleeping and having dinner and that kind of thing. But there were people coming and going from the hotel at all hours, one guy ordered a jug of bourbon and coke so he didn't have to queue at the bar. THAT's dedicaton to partying.
So if your girlfriend has an Indy tattoo on her body, ask her twice where she's been. Odds are good she was at Legends, Melba's, or at the Indy party.

Legends Hotel

Melba's on Cavill Avenue

INDY!!!

2006-10-20T16:53:00.000+10:00

News In Briefs is heading to Surfers Paradise for the Lexmark Indy 300. Your normal service will resume next tuesday.

I Pity The Fool

2006-10-19T16:30:00.000+10:00

If Dr. Phil can dispense advice, why not Mr. T?
The TV Land network announced Tuesday that it will start "I Pity the Fool," a series where "The A-Team" star travels across the country dispensing inspiration and advice.
"The `T' stands for talking," he said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm going to talk it up. It's what I've been doing all my life."
The series starts in October. He'll offer help to people struggling with personal or professional problems.
"My show ain't no `Dr. Phil,' with people sitting around crying," he said. "You're a fool — that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if you don't take my advice."
-associated press

Kooky Kazakhs

2006-10-19T16:26:00.000+10:00

Kazakhstan has released a series of bank notes with the word 'bank' misspelt on them. They use a mixture of cyrillic characters and someone forgot what language they were type-setting in. Despite pressure to recall the notes, Kazakhstan is sure it will all work out in the end.

Gone Fishin'

2006-10-17T15:58:00.000+10:00

Scorsese Hits A Home Run

2006-10-16T21:42:00.000+10:00

Go and see this film right now. Unless you don't like blood, language, violence and sex. In that case, stay at home. But it was worth the fifteen bucks.

Quite Interesting

2006-10-16T07:00:00.000+10:00

The third commonest cause of death at work in the US is murder. In 2005, 677 people were murdered at work including 50 policemen and 205 salespeople.

What About His Daughter?

2006-10-15T22:54:00.000+10:00

In his last interview, published a month before he was killed by a stingray in a freak accident off Port Douglas, Steve Irwin gave this homespun assessment of his daughter's future: "We've connected a big green cord from the ground to Bindi's butt to keep her earthed. She has celebrity parents, lives half the year in America and the other half in a zoo with 1000 animals.
"She travels to amazing places, is part of a multimillion-dollar conservation foundation. It'd be easy for her to develop an 'I don't need to work, I'll do whatever the hell I want' mind-set, thinking that life's only about fun. That just ain't true. Bindi has to earn her own money. She has to earn respect."
The first of her father's desires appears to be well on the way to fruition. The second has already been achieved, with aplomb, at his memorial service.
The diminutive eight-year-old moved many to tears as she stood before a crowd of 5000 and a television audience of millions to pay tribute to her daddy.
It wasn't just her delighted gap-toothed smile in response to the applause as she walked onto the stage at the Crocoseum, or the 183 words she wrote herself the day before.
What left its mark was the way she read them, tracing the words to avoid any mistake. The crowd could see the shadow of her finger behind the paper, blown up tenfold on the giant screen above the stadium, carefully following the lines of simple text, complete with an endearing lapse into present tense:
"My daddy was my hero. He was always there for me when I needed him. He listened to me and taught me so many things, but most of all he was fun.
"I know that daddy had an important job. He was working to change the world so everyone would love wildlife like he did. He built a hospital to help animals and he bought lots of land to give animals a safe place to live.
"He took me and my brother and my mum with him all the time. We filmed together, caught crocodiles together and loved being in the bush together. I don't want daddy's passion to ever end. I want to help endangered wildlife, just like he did. I have the best daddy in the whole world and I will miss him every day. When I see a crocodile I will always think of him.
"And I know that daddy made this zoo so everyone could come and learn to love all the animals. Daddy made this place his whole life. Now it's our turn to help daddy. Thank you."
Even then she did not rush from the stage back to the comfort of her distraught mother, but stayed to feed a trio of elephants led into the stadium, peering out into the stands while the crowd cried and fell in love with her.

So what were we witnessing? How could a little girl be so capable at such a traumatic moment? Was it genuine or practised; the product of a childhood sacrificed to ensure a television legacy? Will the weight of expectation snuff out the flame?
The day after the service when Alison Garton, a professor of psychology at Western Australia's Edith Cowan University, dared to suggest that too much pressure was being placed on her tiny shoulders it caused an outcry.
"She's obviously a very poised and mature eight-year-old, but I think some of these public statements are probably a bit extreme in this point in time," Garton said.
"She probably doesn't even understand properly what it means not to have daddy around anyway. It's a rare child that would actually live up to those expectations and thrive in them."
Garton told me her comments elicited a mixed response: "A lot of colleagues supported my concerns but, yes, I got a few emails from people telling me to butt out because I didn't know what I was talking about."
Among those who disagreed with Garton was Karen Brooks, a senior lecturer in Australian and cultural studies at the University of the Sunshine Coast, who argued Bindi would simply be continuing to do what was already familiar.
"Bindi has lived an exceptional life," Brooks said. "It is different to a lot of other young people, and I think what we see as extraordinary and incredible expectations are probably within her world of reality."
Garton and Brooks are probably both right. Bindi is a rarity who has already lived an extraordinary life. She took her first overseas flight at just two weeks, joining her parents on a film shoot in Texas chasing rattlesnakes.
She made her television debut in the US just after her first birthday and by the time she was seven had boarded more than 400 flights, visited 14 countries and crisscrossed Australia dozens of times as the Irwin caravan lurched its way from desert to swamp and reef to mountain range.
She sings and dances with a band - Bindi and the Crocmen - as part of the Australia Zoo entertainment, has her own line of clothing and next year will debut in a 26-episode pay TV program in the US.
Understandably, the family has shielded the children since the memorial service, although Bindi and her mother appeared last week at a children's TV awards show in Sydney to honour a commitment given before his death by Irwin.
This time there was no script. She faced questions with an innocent frankness that seemed to confirm the family's confidence: "It's kind of sad that he [Irwin] couldn't be here but it's nice that I can be here to do it," she nodded with amazing assurance.

Bindi has made clear in several interviews to promote her coming TV show that she wants a career in entertainment.
"I love being photographed, it's cool," she told the Women's Weekly.
"When people clap and cheer me, it makes me happy because I feel I've done something well. When I grow up, I want to be doing exactly what I do now - sing, act and work with animals."
The local paper, the Sunshine Coast Daily also did a short profile. It found she liked what normal eight-year-old girls like - dolls, the colour pink, chocolate, Britney Spears and The Simpsons.
When asked to describe herself, she replied: "Well, she's a wonderful girl who loves animals." And her parents? "They've given me a lot of good advice. Mostly how it's good to protect animals, and now that they've done that I'm like, 'No, don't kill that mosquito, don't step on that bull ant'."
Her mother feels the same way. When Bindi was three years old Terri Irwin wrote: "I will do my best to make the world a better place for Bindi, and I'm really not terribly worried about her. Life will be filled with adventure and challenge and I know Bindi will do well. She has to. Like her family before her, Bindi is a wildlife warrior."
But there are distinct differences between Bindi and her father, which he understood.
Steve grew up inside a tiny and struggling reptile park, attended Caloundra State High School and went surfing on weekends in a rusty Mazda with his mates. He even trained as a diesel mechanic before pursuing his madcap career as a crocodile trapper and conservationist.
By comparison, Bindi is growing up inside a major tourist attraction - a zoo come theme park that has no neighbours. She is home-schooled - by "Miss Emma" - because the family is too famous and travelling too frequently to keep up with lessons at the local primary school.
Even when they travel, the Irwins are mostly isolated in bush camps.
Bindi's hand-written letters reprinted on the zoo website - some delightfully skewiff, and complete with spelling mistakes - talk mainly of trips, croc research and animal encounters. There is little time or opportunity for friendships with children her own age.
Fame and fortune has its price for a family that prides itself on being ordinary - in an extraordinary kind of way.
The ubiquitous John Stainton, Irwin's long-time manager and film producer, doesn't look like a man who should be slopping around muddy creeks pouncing on crocodiles. He admits, ruefully, that often it was not much fun on a shoot with the Crocodile Hunter. Swathed every day in insect repellent, his ginger hair and pale, freckled skin a poor match for the Queensland sun. Perhaps that's why he is the only member of the Irwin crew who doesn't wear khaki, but it doesn't mean he is any less fierce in his defence of the family.

Behind his now trademark sunglasses, Stainton's eyebrows twitch at the suggestion that Bindi's welfare might not be at the forefront of their thoughts or that she is too young to have clear ambitions and a path in life. After all, her father caught his first crocodile when he was just nine, albeit with the help of his dad, and Stainton (in his mid 50s) insists he was the same age when he realised he wanted to make films.
"Bindi's really lucky that she has a direction at the age of eight," he says. "Most kids get to 17 and still have no idea where they're going or what they want to do."
Stainton, who met Irwin in 1992 while filming a beer commercial at the zoo, recalls a moment when Bindi was five.
It was during a pause in shooting around the zoo with Steve. "One of the crew asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up," Stainton says. "We all thought she would say that she wanted to be like her dad but she didn't. Instead, she said, 'I want to be like John because he tells my daddy what to do'."
The point he is making is that she has very strong goals for such a young girl.
"Until this year we hadn't done anything with her. She'd just come along and filmed and was, well, Bindi. "It happened suddenly. She wanted to do things. I sent her off with a cameraman and told her to go around the zoo and talk to the camera about all the animals. She didn't stop talking for 30 minutes; a single take on everything she knew on this tortoise, just like her father - who could talk under wet cement.
"Look, those kids have got fantastic parents. Terri is very different to Steve. She's very, what would you say, together. She's articulate and thoughtful. Those kids have the best manners."
Like a good filmmaker, he reverts to story-telling to illustrate his point: "Terri was always tolerant. She'd come home from the office after making the bed to find Steve was hiding [his son] Bob jr under the covers. So she'd make the bed again and then Steve would do it all again. Sometimes she'd make the bed three or four times in a morning because he'd keep mucking it up hiding Bob.
"As parents Steve and Terri made a decision to take the kids with them when they went on a shoot. They didn't want to leave them behind, so filming and travelling is part of their lives. As a producer, I would never ask anyone to do anything they aren't comfortable about. There would be no point.
"I know where Bindi is going and she knows where she's going. We all know that she will end up a much bigger star than Steve ever was. Things will explode when we get this series done, just like Steve. I knew it with him and I know it with Bindi. You can just tell."

It is this statement that seems so hard to understand. How can he be so confident about the future of an eight-year-old?
"Bindi is compelling. You can get any eight-year-old up on television. In America there are thousands of them, in soapies and series but they are very much little actors, set in what they can do.
"Bindi is natural, and being natural is the hardest thing on television. She has no fear; it's like a walk in the park for her. Everyone who has seen the early stuff we've done has the same reaction." And her character? Surely, not another Crocodile Hunter?
"Dunno, dunno; it's too early to tell. Maybe she'll be a famous Hollywood actor like Nicole Kidman or a singer like Britney Spears or Madonna. Maybe a dancer. Or maybe she could be a great wildlife presenter like David Attenborough. Who knows?
"Whatever she does she will be in the public eye. She loves performing; she's comfortable, it makes her happy. She may change within that scope, but that's her choice.
"If she wants to drop out and be a nurse at the age of 18 then no one is going to stand in her way. The saving grace for Bindi and for Bob is that they don't live in Hollywood; they live here, in Beerwah, which is very levelling. They will always be fine as long as they have this base. Australians will keep those kids on the straight and narrow.
-smh.com.au

30 - 18

2006-10-14T21:23:00.000+10:00

That's right, 30 - 18. Suck it New Zealand! Nah nah na nah nah. Take your ball and go home.

World Wide Threat!

2006-10-13T15:41:00.000+10:00

Boffins have just announced a new threat to our society. The 2038 bug promises to wreak havoc in the same way that the millenium bug was going to... well...
Anyway, it has something to do with 32bit integers reaching their end on January 19, 2038, which is already being called the "last day of numbers". Planes will fall from the sky, Friends will be optioned for a film, and Paris Hilton will ascend to lead the world through those darkest of days. I, meanwhile, will sit in my fortress of verisimilitude guarded by my unholy penguin army. I bought them on eBay along with a piece of string shaped like John Lennon. Now THAT's an investment!

Bush Sees No Need to Change N. Korea Policy

2006-10-12T10:32:00.000+10:00

That's the headline in today's New York Times. And right he is. I mean, if it never worked in the first place, there's no impetus to fix it. “I believe the commander in chief must try all diplomatic measures," Bush said, speaking in the third person.
The president said in response to a question that his statement of May 23, 2003 — “We will not tolerate a nuclear North Korea” — still stands. But he said repeatedly that that goal could be realized through diplomacy. -NYTimes
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Nothing wrong with that, especially when the cake is so sweet and the calories will be passed on to the next generation. Guilt-free dessert!
“Diplomacy is a difficult process,” Mr. Bush said between mouthfulls. What a wise man, a sage even. Mr. Bush said over and over, sometimes without prompting, that North Korea could be dealt with through diplomacy. When asked what military options were available to the United States “once diplomacy has run its course,” he replied: “Diplomacy hasn’t run its course. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

Bush was heard to ask "why's everybody always picking on me?"

New, Clear Vision

2006-10-11T09:50:00.000+10:00

In the aftermath of what may or may not have been a nuclear test in North Korea, Dubya has come out and scolded Kooky Kim Jong Il for his "threat to international peace and security”.
“The transfer of nuclear weapons or material by North Korea to states or nonstate entities would be considered a grave threat to the United States,” Mr. Bush said. Almost as grave a threat as having a head of state who can't speak properly. News In Briefs has had it with talk of new-kew-ler weapons. Even Australian politicians have started saying new-kew-ler. It's pronounced NEW-CLEAR. I'll even let you have NEW-CLI-AR. Morons.

***BREAKING NEWS***
We can now reveal just what was going on in North Korea when that explosion occured. Seems Kimmy was simply remaking 'Star Wars' for the Korean audience. Seems Kim feels Darth Vader got a bad rap, and Luke Skywalker should have followed in his father's footsteps by continuing an evil empire that antagonised the forces of goodness and niceness.

Fast Food Hold-Ups

2006-10-11T08:57:00.000+10:00

And we're not talking about the new 'Deli Choices' line at Maccas either. Several fast food restaurants have been held up in Western Sydney, with some being hit twice in the same day. Police suspect that the incidents are related, and have released this sketch of the perpetrator.

An Intowewabuw Fret

2006-10-10T13:31:00.000+10:00

If you've been wondering where I've been the last couple days, I have one word for you: North Korea. Okay, so that's two words, but you get the drift. News In Briefs received an anonymous tip (via mainstream news services) that Krazy Kim would test a nuclear device in defiance of the UN security council.
As such, News In Briefs is the last outlet to actually bring news of the test to you (hey, Qantas doesn't have regular flights from Pyongyang). Now I don't want to disappoint you faithful few so here's a photo of Kim from his audition for 'The Matrix'.

Adult World Must Let Girls Be Girls

2006-10-10T13:26:00.000+10:00

To be "hot, hot, hot" is not a fitting encouragement for five- and six-year-olds, writes Emma Rush.

BRAS for eight-year-olds. Lip gloss for six-year-olds. Fashion and gossip magazines for girls from age five. The sexualisation of children is changing the experience of childhood, yet there has been little public discussion of its implications.
Children, particularly girls, are under increasing pressure from advertisers and marketers to adopt a "sexy" persona from very young ages. Those who apply the pressure claim they are simply responding to little girls' interest in looking "pretty".
However, the forms "prettiness" now takes, which include "bralettes" for girls as young as three, as well as the language used to describe appearance in girls' magazines directed at readers from five up ("hot, hot, hot"), give the game away. This sexualising pressure places children at risk in a number of ways.
The emphasis on "ideal" appearances brings some of the agonies of adolescence forward many years. In one recent study, about one-third of seven-year-old Australian girls wanted to be thinner, despite the fact that they were all within a normal healthy weight range. The pressure to have a "perfect" appearance places children at greater risk of developing eating disorders at an age when nutrition is crucial - while they are still growing.
The focus on sexual couplings found in girls' magazines, pitched at readers aged five to 13, may have dangerous implications for children who are approached by predatory adults. These magazines encourage girls to have "crushes" on men older than themselves, with heavy coverage of adult female celebrities and their boyfriends, as well as articles on and posters of adult male actors and singers.
In a cultural context where sex is heavily glamourised and represented as highly desirable, is it wise to actively encourage girls of primary-school age to have romantic fantasies about older men? How do we then expect them to behave if an older man approaches apparently offering romance?
To sexualise children in the way that advertisers do - by dressing, posing, and making up child models in the same ways that sexy adults would be presented - also implicitly suggests to adults that children are interested in and ready for sex. This is profoundly irresponsible, particularly given that it is known that pedophiles use not only child pornography but also more innocent photos of children.
One less obvious risk to children as a result of an excessive focus on "sexy" appearance and behaviour is that other important aspects of their lives can suffer. The developmental period known as "middle childhood" (about six to 11 years old) is critical to children developing a sense of self and self-esteem.

Children of this age are beginning to understand their place in the world, and are forming a sense of their own competence and the kinds of activities that are important. A significant part of this learning occurs through play.
If children perceive being "sexy" as important and their play times revolve around this theme (shopping, makeovers, imitating pop stars and so on) then they will miss out on other activities that better foster physical and cognitive development, such as sports, problem-solving games and imaginative play. As a result, aspects of their physical and cognitive development are likely to suffer.
Some seek to dismiss these risks as a "moral panic", arguing that children benefit from sexualisation because their sexuality gives them a source of power in a world in which most of the power is held by adults. In fact, this very power imbalance means that any sexual engagement children might have with adults is more than likely to end in the further disempowerment of children.
Rather than being empowered, children are being exploited by the process of sexualisation. For children seeking to become empowered in an adult world, a more promising route is to focus on developing cognitive and emotional capacities that enable them to negotiate power relations more maturely and with less risk to themselves.
Such capacities also enable young people to choose to use their sexuality in a respectful way, rather than for seeking to gain an advantage over others.
It is unrealistic to expect parents to stop the sexualisation of children by "just saying no" to sexy clothing, children's make-up and so on. As any parent knows, it is not that simple. Peer friendships take on much greater importance in middle childhood and the pressure to conform is keenly felt by children. No parents want their child to be the one left out in the schoolyard.
And no parents want to be put in a position where they must monitor and regulate their children's activities. The sexualisation of children should be tackled at its source: the advertisers and marketers who are seeking to create ever-younger consumers for their products. The burden of remedying the damage caused by sexualising children should not fall on parents, teachers, pediatricians and child psychologists.
There is nothing wrong with selling products. But sexualising children to sell products has social costs that are unacceptable.
Dr Emma Rush is a researcher at the Australia Institute and the lead author of the report Corporate Paedophilia, published yesterday by the institute.
-smh.com.au

John Howard's Faux Pas

2006-10-07T13:48:00.000+10:00

"It remains," said our humble PM, "an inconvenient truth that if countries such as the United States, the United Kingdom and Australia simply abandon the people of Iraq this would be an enormous victory for the forces of terror and extremism around the world."

Hmmm, inconvenient truth eh? What, like the one Al Gore is on about

or the real face of the War On Error?

Good to see our leaders heed Stephen Colbert's warning to "never let the facts determine the truth."

Celebrity Skin 5

2006-10-06T09:06:00.000+10:00

According to Jordan, hubby Peter Andre maintains his tan by smothering himself in... Diet Coke? Seems B-list stars are just as kooky as their famous counterparts. The top-heavy brit revealed Pete's secrets in an interview with Elle magazine. She also revealed her bra size, a 34GG.

Yup.

Celebrity Skin 4

2006-10-06T08:57:00.000+10:00

So if Skeet is a poor man's Depp, then Dennis Quaid is certainly the Harrison Ford you get when you can't afford Harrison Ford.

Celebrity Skin 3

2006-10-06T08:33:00.000+10:00

I was watching Jericho last night when I stumbled upon this thought. Like Emilio Estevez not quite being Charlie Sheen, is Skeet in Johnny's shadow?

New Beatles Album

2006-10-05T15:54:00.000+10:00

A "new" album of Beatles music mixed by their legendary producer, George Martin, and described as a new "way of reliving the whole Beatles musical life span", will be released in November.
EMI Music and Apple said on Monday that Martin and his son Giles began work on the album, called Love, after getting permission from Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono Lennon and Olivia Harrison, representing John Lennon and George Harrison.
The music has already been used as the soundtrack to the theatrical Cirque du Soleil show called Love.
"This music was designed for the Love show in Las Vegas but in doing so we've created a new Beatles album," George Martin said in a statement.
"The Beatles always looked for other ways of expressing themselves and this is another step forward for them.
"What people will be hearing on the album is a new experience, a way of reliving the whole Beatles musical life span in a very condensed period."
The Martins worked from the original master tapes from the Abbey Road studios to produce a medley of Beatles music by remixing favourite songs, such as Harrison's Within You Without You being played to the drum-track of Tomorrow Never Knows.
EMI Music, part of EMI Group, and Apple, the English company that administers The Beatles' interests, said the album would be released worldwide in November.
Additional information such as the track listing will be released later.
Reuters

Do It For Your Country

2006-10-04T16:01:00.000+10:00

Forget family relationship centres. A Melbourne fashion retailer has come up with a far racier suggestion for lowering Australian divorce rates: lingerie subsidies.
The managing director of Leethal Fashion Accessories, Gail Lee, says the bonds of marriage should be reinforced with satin, lace and a truckload of Federal Government cash.
Ms Lee has called on the Federal Government to subsidise half the cost of sexy undergarments as a way to spice up a flagging marriage and dissuade wayward partners from straying.
"I honestly believe that a little bit of fashion glamour in the bedroom at home - or in the kitchen - can only help promote bonding and attractiveness and attention between partners," she said.
The subsidy could easily be introduced with minor changes to tax laws or by making lingerie purchases tax deductible, she said.
Ms Lee denied her plan was a publicity stunt, saying her company did not sell lingerie. She also downplayed the potential for mistresses to benefit from tax breaks.
Her novel idea came about after discussing Australia's divorce rate with friends. Close to four in 10 Australian marriages end in divorce.
She said she planned to write to the Federal Treasurer, Peter Costello, who two years ago famously urged couples to get on with the job of raising the nation's birthrate.
"You go home and do your patriotic duty tonight," Mr Costello said after announcing the federal budget baby bonus in 2004.
"You should have one for your husband, one for your wife, and one for your country," he said.

-smh.com.au

New Miss World

2006-10-02T17:10:00.000+10:00

WARSAW, Poland -- Tatana Kucharova, an 18-year-old student from the Czech Republic, won the Miss World 2006 beauty contest on Saturday.
Kucharova defeated 103 other women in voting by a panel of judges and television viewers around the world during a two-hour finals ceremony in the Polish capital.
First runner-up in the 56th edition of the annual beauty pageant was Joana Valentina Boitor, a 17-year-old from Romania. Australia's Sabrina Houssami, 20, was third.
Wearing a long white dress, a teary Kucharova blew kisses to the 2,500 audience members in Warsaw's Congress Hall after she received her diamond crown from Miss World 2005, Unnur Birna Vilhjalmsdottir of Iceland.
Kucharova, a tall high-school student with long blond hair, was born in Trnava and grew up in the town of Opocno. She told the judges she wants to attend university and then become a model. She likes tennis and horse riding and her personal motto is "Always be an optimist."
A few white-red-and-blue Czech national flags floated in the cheering audience after the verdict was announced.
The organizers of the pageant said this year's finals offered the widest-ever participation of voters around the world via the Internet. Votes were also submitted in text messages sent from mobile phones.
Warsaw is only the second European capital after London to host the Miss World contest, organizers say. The 104 finalists spent the past month touring the Eastern European country's cities, beaches and countryside.
Last month, a white scarf was added to an artist's depiction of a mermaid with an exposed breast on a poster advertising the contest after officials in Warsaw's conservative administration deemed it too suggestive.

-MSNBC

New Series!!!

2006-10-01T12:03:00.000+10:00

I was going to say something about the AFL grand final, but the only people happy with the result are from Western Australia, and I don't know anyone from there. Instead, we present this first part of a new series, entitled "What Everyone Else Is Watching".

Australia beat South Korea 4-3 in the women's hockey world cup.

Craig Mottram beat Kenyan Eliud Kipchoge in today's 3,000 metre road-race at the Great Northern Run meeting in Newcastle, England.

Fourth seed Dmitry Tursunov of Russia ousted top seeded Spaniard Tommy Robredo in three sets to set up a summit clash against third seed Tomas Berdych in the Kingfisher Airlines Tennis Open.

Defending champion Fernando Alonso on Saturday took a major step towards retaining his title by taking the pole position for Sunday's Chinese Grand Prix.

American DJ Trahan has birdied the final two holes to maintain his two-shot lead after three rounds of the Southern Farm Bureau Classic.

Xerox Ducati’s Troy Bayliss improved his chances of clinching his second World Superbike Championship by setting the fastest time in the Superpole session in Imola, Italy, site of the penultimate round of the championship.

There. Who needs mainstream sports coverage?

Senate Approves Torture

2006-09-29T16:30:00.000+10:00

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Senate on Thursday gave final approval to a bill for tough interrogation and prosecution of terrorism suspects, as President George W. Bush prevailed after a series of setbacks on his detainee policies.
The Senate passed the bill 65-34, hours after Bush was on Capitol Hill urging Republicans to stay behind the high-profile measure ahead of November 7 elections that will determine control of Congress.

The House of Representatives passed the same measure on Wednesday and must make a technical change to reconcile it with the Senate's. Bush was expected to sign it soon afterward.
While the bill cleared the Senate by a comfortable margin, it barely survived an earlier challenge that would have delayed and possibly killed it.
"The Senate sent a strong signal to the terrorists that we will continue using every element of national power to pursue our enemies and to prevent attacks on America," Bush said in a statement after the Senate vote.
"The Military Commissions Act of 2006 will allow the continuation of a CIA program that has been one of America's most potent tools in fighting the war on terror," Bush said.
The bill sets standards for interrogating suspects, but through a complex set of rules that human rights groups said could allow harsh techniques that bordered on torture such as sleep deprivation and induced hypothermia.
It establishes military tribunals that would allow some use of evidence obtained by coercion, but would give defendants access to classified evidence being used to convict them.
The bill also expands the definition of "enemy combatants" mostly held at the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to include those who provide weapons, money and other support to terrorist groups.
The Supreme Court struck down Bush's first system of military commissions to try suspects, leaving the process in limbo with no successful prosecutions since the September 11 attacks. Bush then faced a rebellion over his revised plan that three leading Republican senators said would allow abusive interrogations and unfair trials.

AGGRESSIVE INTERROGATIONS ALLOWED
After a high-stakes negotiation, Bush got much of what he wanted in the bill to continue the once-secret CIA program of detention and aggressive interrogations of suspects that critics said amounted to torture.
Democrats and some Republicans criticized the compromise for stripping detainees of rights to launch court challenges of their detentions.
Voting 51-48, Republicans beat an amendment that would have restored those rights and potentially derailed the bill. Four Republicans and one Democrat crossed party lines on the vote.
Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania said the right to challenge one's detention was fundamental in American law, and the Supreme Court would reject the plan if it were stripped.
"This is wrong. It is unconstitutional. It is un-American," said Patrick Leahy of Vermont, the committee's top Democrat. He said it was intended to choke off access to Guantanamo to "ensure that the Bush-Cheney administration will never again be embarrassed by a United States Supreme Court decision reviewing its unlawful abuses of power."
Most Republicans said lawsuits from Guantanamo inmates were clogging the courts and detracted from the war on terrorism.
Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions said the bill should not "create a long-term battle with the courts over everybody that's being detained. It is a function of the military and the executive branch to conduct a war."
Republicans on tight votes beat several other challenges by Democrats who said the bill fell short of fair judicial standards and would spark more international outrage at the U.S. treatment of detainees since the September 11 attacks.
"This bill gives an administration that lobbied for torture exactly what it wanted," said Sen. John Kerry, a Massachusetts Democrat.
But Armed Services Committee Chairman John Warner, a Virginia Republican, said enemy combatants were "unlawful by all international standards in the manner in which they conduct war, and yet this great nation ... is going to mete out a measure of justice."

Hammond Heads Home

2006-09-29T16:16:00.000+10:00

LONDON (Reuters) - Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond was flown by helicopter from Leeds General Infirmary to a hospital nearer his home on Thursday, health officials said.
Hammond, 36, was transferred from the West Yorkshire hospital by air ambulance only eight days after he was seriously injured in a high-speed car crash.
"He is continuing to do well and was obviously stable enough to be moved," a Leeds General Infirmary spokeswoman said.

Hammond was taken to an undisclosed hospital near his Gloucestershire home, a BUPA spokeswoman added.
The father-of-two suffered a significant brain injury in the jet-powered car accident at an RAF airfield near York.
He was moved from a high dependency ward to a side-room on a general ward in the Leeds hospital on Saturday.
The accident was jointly investigated by police and the Health and Safety Executive.
The BBC has postponed the new series of Top Gear until Hammond has recovered.
Well-wishers have donated tens of thousands of pounds to a charity for the Yorkshire Air Ambulance, which airlifted the presenter to hospital.

Bush Seeks To Legalize Torture

2006-09-29T12:21:00.000+10:00

The US House of Representatives has voted 253-168 in favor of tough new anti-terror laws that will retrospectively protect CIA torturers from prosecution under US War Crimes legislation.
Democrat Steve Israel said "The bill says to terrorists that we are abandoning the moral high ground, this is a bad move in fighting terrorism and bad for America."
Republican House Speaker, Dennis Hastert, said Democrats had "voted in favor of more rights for terrorists".
"So these same terrorists who plan to harm innocent Americans, and their freedom worldwide would be coddled if we followed the Democrat plan."
The bill will not change Geneva Convention protection to enemy combatants, but its guidelines allow ‘tough interrogations’ and Presidential discretion when it comes to defining what methods are used.
Detainees will also be stripped of their right to appeal their detention in US courts. It was the appeals process that led to the US Supreme Court ruling that the activities at Guantanamo Bay were ‘unconstitutional’.
The bill still needs Senate approval, but it looks likely it will succeed.

Republican Congressmen after the vote

Nice One!

2006-09-28T12:39:00.000+10:00

Here's a Pagani Zonda that's seen better days,
and what's left of a Lamborghini Murcielago (the driver insists he wasn't at fault).

www.wreckedexotics.com

Fried Rice

2006-09-28T12:08:00.000+10:00

Senator Hillary Clinton has laid the smackdown on Condoleeza Rice following Dr Rice's comments that Bill Clinton lied about his administration's anti-terror plans. Hillary responded by calling George W Bush an incompetent jackass for ignoring a document called Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside United States in August 2001.
Rice then called Hillary out, and the two tussled in an 80s film montage. The senator beat the doctor with a particularly nasty bitch-slap upside the head, and called Rice a skank before asking a passerby if he had a cigar.

Colorado High School Shooting

2006-09-28T12:04:00.000+10:00

A man has killed a schoolgirl and himself in a siege at Platte Canyon High School, Colorado.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/two-dead-after-school-siege/2006/09/28/1159337247320.html

Slightly Disturbing

2006-09-27T13:35:00.000+10:00

There's been a lot said about the negative impact that models can have on teenage girls, but what about the girls who are models? The young (and I do mean young, she's only 13) girl pictured here is Shelby Kelly from the mid-north coast of New South Wales. Shelby will be competing in a modelling competition in Shanghai with the hopes of scoring a career on the catwalk.
We know that being a child star can be harmful to you, but they're not being asked to pose in a suggestive manner. If you're an adult and want to do that, fine, but Shelby's only 13.
I know that the Political Correctness Police will probably have a go at me, but a 13 year old girl should not wear a see-through top or open her shirt like this.

Bird Flu Hits Sydney

2006-09-27T13:26:00.000+10:00

An international traveler arriving from Vietnam may have brought avian flu to Australia. And in a stunning example of Aussie Stupidity, the passengers around him were sent home, possibly carrying the deadly virus. Health officials have downplayed the chances of this being a case of bird flu, but News In Briefs doesn't trust them.

SAVE TOP GEAR

2006-09-27T09:55:00.000+10:00

Fools and mummy's boys are trying to get Top Gear kicked off the air. Sign a petition here: http://www.petitiononline.com/tg100/petition.html

How else will we find out about performance comparos between Lamborghinis and Zondas?

Hammond Wants To Show Crash

2006-09-27T09:50:00.000+10:00

Top Gear star begs BBC to show 280mph car crash

Last updated at 11:43am on 26th September 2006

With Top Gear facing the axe, injured presenter Richard Hammond has begged the BBC to show the 280mph car crash that almost killed him.
In a bid to save the motoring show, the 36-year-old is also prepared to appear on television live from his hospital bed as BBC bosses have said they will only screen the new series if Hammond is well enough to appear on it.
Hammond, who suffered a serious brain injury after his jet-powered dragster crashed, is desperate to get in front of a camera as he is worried the programme will be cancelled before he has had a chance to recover from his injuries.
A friend of the presenter, told the Daily Star: "Richard could not stand to feel he was to blame for the demise of the show he loves.
"He's fuming they've postponed the next series because he fears that's the first step towards the BBC pulling the plug permanently. He's terrified they're going to axe it while he's stuck in hospital.
"He'll do anything to keep Top Gear going, even if it means broadcasting from his hospital bed. It would be an emotional broadcast for everyone involved and a ratings winner."
Hammond, affectionately nicknamed the Hamster, has been angered by rumours that Top Gear's future is in doubt as the new series which was due to be aired on October 8 has been postponed indefinitely.
Now out of intensive care at Leeds General Infirmary the presenter has amazed doctors with his fast recovery as only last week his life hanged in the balance.
Reunited with his two daughters Isabella, five, and Willow, two, he is now walking, talking and eating.
Producer Andy Wilman has threatened to quit the show if the BBC try to tone down the show's emphasis on speed and stunts.
While co-presenter Jeremy Clarkson, 46, said: "Swarms of bureaucratic bluebottles are nibbling away at the crash site on York airfield desperately trying to find some reason why Top Gear should be banished from our screens."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=407022&in_page_id=1773

Quirky

2006-09-26T11:27:00.000+10:00

While searching for a picture of a Mars Bar, Google returned this photo:
What the hell is this thing?

I've Had Enough

2006-09-26T11:24:00.000+10:00

I don't want to hear the name Steve Irwin for a long time, I don't want to see his picture, and I don't want to see his widow's interview. Go find another fixation! I'm sure Lindsay Lohan is bulemic again or something...

A Great Choice

2006-09-26T11:10:00.000+10:00

According to Choice Magazine, a Mars Bar is a healthier breakfast than a K-Time Breakfast Bar. So next time you want a quick brekky from the servo, let your taste decide. After all, it helps you work, rest and play.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/09/25/1159036472167.html

Hammond Getting Better

2006-09-25T09:43:00.000+10:00

Richard Hammond, the Top Gear presenter, has continued to make a remarkable recovery from his 300mph dragster crash, and was yesterday well enough to be cared for in a general ward and share jokes with his family and friends.
Hammond suffered a "significant brain injury" in last week's accident but, after spells in intensive care and a high dependency unit, was moved to the side room of a general ward at the weekend. A spokesman for Leeds general infirmary said last night: "He is continuing to make good progress. He is doing well."
Meanwhile, Hammond's co-presenter, Jeremy Clarkson, launched a scathing attack on investigators looking into the crash, and commentators who have suggested the macho, speed-loving BBC2 motoring show ought to be toned down.
Clarkson claimed: "Swarms of bureaucratic bluebottles are nibbling away at the crash site, desperately trying to find some reason Top Gear should be banished from the screens." Writing in the Sunday Times, he added: "Contrary to reports that he was put there [in the dragster] by ratings-hungry producers, it was his idea. He wanted to know what it would be like to go really fast ... He needs that thrill as passionately as a heroin addict needs his next fix."
According to Clarkson, the crash, on Wednesday, was probably caused by a burst tyre. "Who was to blame? Nobody."
The BBC said it was too early to say when the new series of Top Gear, which was due to begin on October 8, would now start. Meanwhile, more than 40,000 people have wished Hammond well and, by last night, £140,000 had been donated to the Yorkshire Air Ambulance, which ferried him to hospital.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1880086,00.html

How Long???

2006-09-25T09:35:00.000+10:00

Browsing through the Sydney Morning Herald today, I was reminded of how long it's ben since we were promised Guns N Roses' Chinese Democracy. And with talk of electoral reform in Hong Kong, it seems like we might actually see a Chinese democracy first.

Hammond Walks

2006-09-24T10:46:00.000+10:00

British motoring show presenter Richard Hammond has got out of bed and walked after suffering brain injuries in a high-speed crash, co-host of Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson told The Sun newspaper on Saturday.
"In the wee small hours of Thursday night, just 30 hours after what is almost certainly the world's fastest-ever car crash, Richard Hammond suddenly sat up in bed opened his eyes and asked what had happened," wrote Clarkson in his Sun column.
"'You've been in a car accident'," I said. "'Was I driving badly?' he asked, before getting out of bed and walking shakily to the lavatory."
A Leeds General Infirmary hospital spokeswoman told Reuters that Hammond continues to "make good progress".
Hammond's wife Mindy also provided an upbeat assessment of her husband's medical condition.
"He's spoken and smiled. It's early days and what has happened hasn't really sunk in for him," she told The Daily Mirror newspaper.
Hammond, 36, was seriously injured on Wednesday when he crashed a jet-powered dragster as he accelerated towards 300 miles per hour (483kmh) in a feature being filmed for the BBC show.
He suffered what his doctors have called a significant brain injury as a result of the accident at an RAF airfield near York.
Although doctors remain concerned about his condition they have said they are "reasonably optimistic that he will make a good recovery".
The accident is being jointly investigated by police and the Health and Safety Executive.
Hammond had been filming at the Elvington airfield in what media reports said was an attempt to break the British land speed record of 300.3 miles per hour (483.18kph) when the accident happened.
A spokesman for the car's sponsor, auto accessory maker Thule, has said that although timers were in place to record Hammond's speed, it would not have qualified as an official record attempt.
smh.com.au

Even Monsters Get The Blues

2006-09-23T08:42:00.000+10:00

Newsmedia Flogs A Dead Horse

2006-09-22T08:50:00.000+10:00

FOR a few days, the nation's born-again Christians were overjoyed: could it be that Steve Irwin, crocodile hunter, had become one of them shortly before a stingray's barb cut short his life?
The rumour began to circulate after Creation Ministries International, a conservative group believing in a literal reading of the Book of Genesis, reported the contents of an email from a church pastor that Irwin had "come forward" at a Sunshine Coast church two weeks before his death.
The rumour spread like wildfire. The email read in part: "Many of us will now spend eternity with him. I am sure Terri [Irwin] is comforted as a Christian in the fact that she will be with Jesus and also Steve again for eternity."
But as encouraging as it might be for Christians to know they may share heaven with Irwin, the group now concedes there is reason to doubt the conversion. The unverified story was sent out by an exuberant staff member, said the group's managing director, Carl Wieland. "Though we are able to substantiate our suggestion that Steve's wife, Terri, was a church-going Christian, the stories of Steve coming forward can, at this stage, not be substantiated," he said in a statement on the group's website.
"There is serious reason to doubt that this happened, at least not in the way that the stories claim. Each time, seemingly reliable witnesses are invoked, but they are never the actual eyewitnesses … At least one major church [believed to be a Pentecostal church in Adelaide] … announced it joyfully from the pulpit. But there again it turned out to be on the basis of seemingly reliable, almost impeccable eyewitness testimony, but testimony which could, again, not be confirmed, sadly."
A Sunshine Coast pastor, Steve Penny, said that if Irwin converted it was not at his church. Further investigation had failed to substantiate rumours of the conversion in any church on the coast, he said.
Mr Wieland said the rumour had been consigned to "well-meant urban legend". "It is, ultimately, a matter between Steve Irwin and his creator and if the event did occur, then since Terri Irwin is a believer, she will be highly motivated to let the world know."

-smh.com.au

Hammond Update

2006-09-22T08:46:00.000+10:00

Presenter of British motoring program Top Gear Richard Hammond suffered a significant brain injury in a high-speed crash in a jet-powered car while filming for the program, a hospital spokesman said today.
"He has suffered a significant brain injury," the spokesman said.
"It is still giving cause for concern as it is still early after the injury. However, we are reasonably optimistic that he will make a good recovery."
The 36-year-old presenter was taken by air ambulance to the specialist neurological unit at Leeds General Infirmary after the accident yesterday.
Earlier today, the hospital had said Hammond was in a serious but stable condition after some improvement overnight.
The presenter had been filming at a former Royal Air Force base near York, in what media reports said was an attempt to break the British land speed record of 300.3 mph (483.18 km), when the accident happened yesterday afternoon.
A spokesman for the car's sponsor, Thule, said that although timers were in place to record Hammond's speed, it would not have qualified as an official record attempt.
Health and Safety Executive officials were on site investigating possible causes of the crash.
Co-presenters Jeremy Clarkson and James May have both visited their colleague in hospital.
"Obviously, at this time both he and his family are the most important concerns we have," they said in a statement.
"It must be devastating for his wife Mindy and his two utterly adorable children. Both James and I are looking forward to getting our hamster back."
Hammond is affectionately known as "The Hamster" by his legion of fans and is the butt of good-natured ribbing about his diminutive height by Clarkson and May.
He had to be cut from the wreckage of the vehicle which had veered off the track and rolled over, the BBC quoted one of the rescuers as saying.
"We were down there with Top Gear who were filming him trying to break the British land speed record," Dave Ogden, one of those involved in the rescue, told the BBC.
"On the previous run, the car had just gone over 300 mph but I am not sure if it had broken the record.
"They had just done one more run and were planning to finish when it veered off to the right."
Hammond had been able to talk to but was in distress, he added.
"He was regaining consciousness at that point and said he had some lower back pain. But he was drifting in and out of consciousness a little bit," Ogden said.
The Top Gear show, which tests and reviews cars, enjoys cult status and is broadcast to millions of people worldwide on BBC World.
Quentin Willson, one of the show's former hosts, said of Hammond: "He is a wonderful, unique and distinctive Top Gear presenter.
"He has brought an awful lot to the program and his indefatigable energy, the fact that he tries absolutely anything once, may have been the reason that he has overstepped the mark a bit."
REUTERS

Hamster Update

2006-09-21T22:37:00.000+10:00

By Brian Lysaght

Sept. 21 (Bloomberg) -- Richard Hammond, a host of the British Broadcasting Corp.'s Top Gear television program, is in serious condition at a U.K. hospital after he crashed a 300 miles-per-hour, jet-powered dragster at a test track.

Hammond, 36, was driving a car called the Vampire while filming for the show when the accident occurred yesterday at Elvington Airfield, east of York, in northern England, the BBC said on its Web site.

He was taken by helicopter to Leeds General Infirmary. Hammond is in serious but stable condition and there was some improvement overnight, said a hospital spokeswoman who didn't give her name.

Dave Ogden, a firefighter who was working with the film crew at the track, told the BBC that Hammond was attempting to break the British land-speed record when the accident occurred. The car had done a run at over 300 mph, then on another pass veered to the right and flipped with one of its parachutes out.

A 30-foot (9-meter) long yellow Vampire powered by a Rolls- Royce aircraft engine and driven by Colin Fallows touched 300 mph to break the British land speed record at Elvington in 2000. It wasn't clear whether Hammond was driving the same car.

Top Gear is scheduled to begin its ninth season on the air next month. It runs on Sunday nights, when Hammond and co-hosts Jeremy Clarkson and James May test cars ranging from exotic roadsters to wrecks, and record the adventures for the program.

Colleagues Visit

Clarkson and May said they traveled to the hospital today.

``I would just like to say how heartened Richard will be when I tell him just how many motorists and truck drivers on my way here wound down their windows to say they were rooting for him,'' Clarkson said in an e-mailed statement.

In the show, Clarkson has nicknamed the diminutive and excitable Hammond ``hamster.''

The crash will be investigated by the government's Health & Safety Executive as well as the BBC, the broadcaster said in a statement yesterday.

``We are looking into all the factors of this accident and it would be inappropriate to comment further at this stage until we know the full situation,'' the BBC said.

Shocking

2006-09-21T15:24:00.000+10:00

A Vietnamese man who once appeared on national television to demonstrate his ability to resist electric shocks has been electrocuted while repairing a generator, an official said on Tuesday.
Nguyen Van Hung, aged in his early 40s, was killed in Tay Ninh province near the Cambodian border while repairing the generator without first cutting the power supply, a local official said.
"When alive, he used to demonstrate at our office how he would insert two fingers into the electrical plughole without problems," the official said.
Hung, nicknamed "Hung Electric", had appeared on television's "Strange Stories of Vietnam".
Reuters

Jake's Gun 'Just Went Off'

2006-09-21T15:15:00.000+10:00

I have a whole lot of time for our servicemen and women, my best mate wears a uniform each day. But this whole Kovco thing is starting to smell like Tupac and Biggie. His widow's description of what she thinks happened is remarkably similar to a scene from Pulp Fiction, where Vincent Vega shoots Marvin.
"Look! I didn't mean to shoot this son-of-a-bitch, the gun just went off, don't ask me how! "

I'm calling that Kovco was murdered, and someone's trying to cover it up. It's the only theory that fits the facts.

Top Gear Star Stable

2006-09-21T15:10:00.000+10:00

We've just heard that Richard Hammond is now in a stable condition. The 36 year old was allegedly travelling at around 300mph when he lost control of the jet-powered dragster. That, as Hammond would say, is un-ba-lee-vably quick.

GGGGOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!!

2006-09-21T14:45:00.000+10:00

Xabi Alonso is our new hero, scoring an AWESOME goal against Newcastle in Liverpool's 2-0 win. The Spaniard's boot met ball inside his own half at Anfield in the 79th minute. Notable mention to Dirk Kuyt who scored the first goal.

Hurt Hamster

2006-09-21T12:29:00.000+10:00

Top Gear host critical after crash
Press Association
Thursday September 21, 2006 2:28 AM

Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond was in a critical condition in hospital after he was involved in a high-speed car crash while filming for the programme.
Hammond, 36, was airlifted to Leeds General Infirmary after a "rocket-powered dragster" he was in crashed at Elvington airfield near York.
The editor of Top Gear magazine said he had heard that Hammond may have been travelling at speeds close to 300mph before the crash.
Inspector Mike Thompson, of North Yorkshire Police, said: "At 5.45pm (on Wednesday) evening we received a report via the fire service of a male person trapped in what was described as an overturned jet car which had been driven on the airfield. The male occupant has received serious injuries and has been airlifted to hospital at Leeds."
A hospital spokesman said Hammond, who is being treated in a neurological unit, was in a "critical" condition.
Hammond, who often drives high-performance cars as part of presenting Top Gear, was born in Birmingham but lives just outside Cheltenham with his wife and children. He first appeared on British television screens on cable and satellite channels presenting motoring programmes before switching to the BBC's Top Gear in 2002.
A BBC spokeswoman said: "We can confirm that an accident has happened while filming an edition of Top Gear at an airfield near York. The presenter Richard Hammond has been taken to hospital. The incident happened quite recently and the focus of our attention is on Richard at this stage."
Top Gear magazine editor Michael Harvey told BBC News 24: "I know every single precaution will have been taken but something clearly absolutely unaccounted for has gone wrong, and Richard has unfortunately suffered the consequences."
James May, who co-presents the popular motor show with Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson, said he was devastated to learn his "old mate" had been injured.
Former Top Gear presenter Quentin Willson said one of Hammond's best qualities was that he has "no fear". He told BBC News 24: "It does sound very serious. It is a huge, huge tragedy. He is a wonderful, unique and distinctive Top Gear presenter."

100th Post!

2006-09-21T10:49:00.000+10:00

At the time of writing, News In Briefs has featured 17 politicians, 54 celebrities, 43 serious stories, and has gotten 94 comments. It's been eventful, with people giggling at absurdity and loading up guns in defence of their faith. We're off to party, normal service will resume tomorrow.

Hey, Check This Out!

2006-09-20T13:41:00.000+10:00

This isn't strictly news, but lets face it, you weren't looking for news.

I found an X-Men personality quiz while surfing today, and I scored as the Beast! "Beast is an intelligent, politcal spokesman for the X-Men. He has a Ph.D in Genetics and is well versed in literature. He may look like a blue fuzzy monster, but deep down he's very benevolent and logical. Powers: Enhanced strength and agility."
This is the coolest freakin' thing I've seen all day. And Beast was played by Kelsey Grammar, who was in Frasier, so... yeah.

The Continuing Story Of Bungling Benny

2006-09-20T10:10:00.000+10:00

John Howard is shocked by Muslim anger at recent comments made by the Pope (before reading on, please check out 'Pope Same As Hitler' from last Saturday). "We should take a deep breath on these things and all have a sense of proportion. We seem to be living in a world where people have no sense of proportion," he told the ABC's Lateline program. "OK, they don't like what was said. I'm sure the Pope was not intending to attack Islam. He's expressed his regrets, and I think we should really move on."
SMH.com: Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, alleged the Pope's speech was part of a "crusade against Islam" launched by the US President, George Bush. On the sidelines of a United Nations meeting in New York, Mr Bush told the Malaysian Prime Minister, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, that Benedict's apology was sincere.
I love the fact that the West gets labelled insensitive to Islam while the Ayatollah confuses branches of Christanity. The Pope is Roman Catholic, while Bush is Southern-Evangelical-Compassionate-Conservative-Baptist-Somethingorother. And to think News In Briefs once criticized Catholicism for being long-winded.
In a move that almost guarantees me a fatwah, I'm going to call Ayatollah Khamenei a lunatic with no real grasp of western politics or religions, a man who is prepared to take on the USA with their (maybe) one nuke. Fool.

http://www.maniacmuslim.com/Stupid_Email_Forwards.html

Military Coup In Thailand

2006-09-20T10:02:00.000+10:00

For those of you living under a rock, the Thai army under General Sonthi Boonyaratglin has seized control of the government, revoked the constitution, and declared martial law. Despite news services saying there is no connection between King Bhumibol Adulyadej and General Boonyaratglin, an early report from Bangkok said that the General had met with the King before the military coup. News In Briefs has heard that the army has been concerned about the King's dignity in recent months especially with an election scandal that still hasn't died down. Expect this story to get a little dirtier before it disappears.

Peter Jackson Butchers Classic

2006-09-19T15:43:00.000+10:00

Okay, so it's not NEWS, strictly speaking. He mangaged to mangle LOTR e few years back. But now, with the upcoming production of "Dambusters" it looks like history DOES repeat.
The issue is with the name of a dog. In reality, and the 1954 film, the dog was called 'nigger'. This was important because it became a codeword during the night raids of Nazi Germany's industrial areas. Jackson is concerned that if he uses the name he'll offend people, and if not he'll be accused of destroying a classic.
Don't worry Peter. We already know you butchered cinema greats and literary giants. We'll only complain when 'Darnbusters' is produced by SMOKING CAUSES LUNG DISEASE and revolves around the Elven campaign against the evil Osauron bin Leadfoot.

Ham-Fisted Segway

2006-09-19T12:56:00.000+10:00

It seems that Segways don't just make you look like a goose while you're on them, they now try to throw you off. When users reach the 19km/h top speed, a software glitch can make the unit reverse, resulting in head and wrist injuries for the user, and fits of giggles for passers-by.

Man Loses Willy (Not Nelson)

2006-09-19T12:48:00.000+10:00

From Ian Sample in London

September 19, 2006

A CHINESE man who had the world's first penis transplant had the organ removed two weeks later because he and his wife had a "severe psychological problem" with his new penis.
The man's penis was damaged beyond repair in an accident this year, leaving him with a one centimetre-long stump with which he was unable to urinate or have sexual intercourse.
"His quality of life was affected severely," said Dr Weilie Hu, a surgeon at Guangzhou General Hospital.
Doctors spent 15 hours attaching a 10-centimetre penis to the 44-year-old man after the parents of a brain-dead man half his age agreed to donate their son's organ.
The procedure, described in a case study due to appear in the journal European Urology next month, represents a big leap forward in transplant surgery.
After 10 days, tests revealed the organ had a rich blood supply and the man was able to urinate normally. Although the operation was a surgical success, surgeons said they had to remove the penis two weeks later.
"Because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off," Dr Hu said.
An examination of the organ showed no signs of it being rejected by the body, he said.
Jean-Michel Dubernard, the French surgeon who this year performed the world's first face transplant on a woman who had been attacked by a dog, said psychological factors were a serious issue for many patients receiving certain "allografts", or organs from donors. "Psychological consequences of hand and face allografts show that it is not so easy to use and see permanently a dead person's hands, nor is it easy to look in a mirror to see a dead person's face," Dr Dubernard wrote in European Urology.
"Clearly, in the Chinese case the failure at a very early stage was first psychological. It involved the recipient's wife and raised many questions."
In 2001, surgeons were forced to amputate the world's first transplanted hand from Clint Hallam, a 50-year-old New Zealander, who said he wanted the "hideous and withered" hand removed because he had become "mentally detached" from it.
Andrew George, a transplant expert at Imperial College London, said: "Doing a penis transplant should be no more complex than anything else. But it takes time for nerve sensations to kick in and it's not clear whether the patient would ever be able to have sex with it."
The Guardian

Tolkien Tale To Tantalise Teens

2006-09-19T12:40:00.000+10:00

Lost JRR Tolkien novel The Children of Hurin has been completed by his son and should be out around Easter. "It has seemed to me for a long time that there was a good case for presenting my father's long version of the legend of The Children of Hurin as an independent work, between its own covers," Christopher Tolkien said. We believe the novel will involve the Children wandering around Middle Earth for a thousand pages while poorly crafted religious iconography and stilted metaphors are unleashed on the reader. Peter Jackson has already announced his desire to direct the film version of the sure-to-be-a-classic book. "I haven't had any ideas since Bad Taste," Jackson told News In Briefs. "This Tolkien stuff is good for the bank and the awards case."

High Times On The Road

2006-09-19T12:29:00.000+10:00

Willie Nelson has been charged with misdemeanour drug possession by Louisiana Police who found 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana and 91 grams of magic mushrooms on his tour bus. Apparently everyone involved was cooperative, due in no small part to the weed they'd been smoking. For those who don't know, a pound of grass is about the size of a housebrick, and enough for some real good times.

Teenager Charged With Murder

2006-09-16T15:05:00.000+10:00

A 19-year-old has been charged with murder after the death of a teenager who was stabbed at a party in the NSW Hunter Valley.
Police said a 15-year-old boy suffered a stab wound to his abdomen during an argument at a party in bushland near Glendon Crescent at Glendale about 9pm last night.
The teenager, from Boolaroo, was taken to John Hunter Hospital in a critical condition where he had emergency surgery.
He died shortly after 9am today, police said.
A 19-year-old Glendale man has been charged with murder and is due to face Newcastle Local Court tomorrow.

'Jump The Couch'

2006-09-16T14:55:00.000+10:00

Never let it be said that News In Briefs doesn't keep up with modern lingo.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jump+the+couch

That's Not What I Meant!

2006-09-16T14:52:00.000+10:00

"Pope Same As Hitler"

2006-09-16T14:40:00.000+10:00

Now THAT got your attention. A lot of Catholics I know are already cranky with me, but this is a significant story. Here it is as it appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald.

September 16, 2006 - 1:23PM

Muslims on Friday deplored remarks made by Pope Benedict on Islam and many of them said the Catholic leader should apologise in person to dispel the impression he had joined a campaign against their religion.
Influential Turkish legislator Salih Kapusuz fired back today, saying the Pope would go down in history ``in the same category as leaders such as Hitler and Mussolini.''
``He has the dark mentality that comes from the darkness of the Middle Ages,'' Kapusuz said.
Pakistan's legislature condemned Benedict, as did Lebanon's top Shi'ite cleric. "We demand that he apologises personally, and not through (Vatican) sources, to all Muslims for such a wrong interpretation," said Beirut-based Sayyed Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah.
In Gaza, angry Palestinians marched through the streets. "This is another Crusader war against the Arab and Muslim world," said Hamas official Ismail Radwan as he addressed some 5,000 chanting demonstrators.
And in Cairo, Egyptian demonstrators chanted, ``Down with the Pope!''
In Britain, the head of the Muslim Council urged Benedict to ``speak with responsibility and repudiate the Byzantine emperor's views.''
And in Iraq, warring Shi'ites and Sunnis paused from slaughtering each other to condemn the Pope. "This is the second time such an offence has been give before Ramadan," said Sheikh Salah al-Ubeidi, one of the aides to Shi'ite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr, referring to last year's publication of cartoons in a Danish paper sparking violent Muslim protests around the world.
The Muslim Brotherhood, the Arab world's largest group of political Islamists, demanded an apology from the Pope and called on the governments of Islamic countries to break relations with the Vatican if he does not make one.
The Sheikh of al-Azhar, one of the Sunni Muslim world's most prestigious seats of religious studies, said: "The Azhar asserts that these statements indicate clear ignorance of Islam.
"They attribute to Islam what it does not contain," the sheikh, Mohamed Sayed Tantawi, said in a statement on MENA.
Muslim leaders in New York demanded the Pope apologise.
``He is declaring war by his words,'' said Imam Kadhim Mohamad at the Ahlul Bayt Mosque on Atlantic Ave. in Brooklyn. ``He should either apologise or at least prove to the people that what he says is true. Otherwise, he should say nothing.''
Worshiper Ibrahim Abdul Rahman was especially incensed that Benedict quoted a line that spoke of Muhammed ordering that his faith be ``spread by the sword.''

``No sword was held to my neck,'' Rahman said. ``If the Pope really analyses who conquered by the sword, he needs to look back on his own religion. It would be nice of him to apologise.''
In a speech in Germany on Tuesday, the Pope appeared to endorse a Christian view, contested by most Muslims, that the early Muslims spread their religion by violence.
The 57-nation Organisation of the Islamic Conference (OIC), the world's largest Muslim body, said quotations used by the Pope represented a "character assassination of the Prophet Mohammad" and a "smear campaign".
"The OIC hopes that this campaign is not the prelude of a new Vatican policy towards Islam ... The OIC also hopes that the Vatican will issue statements that reflect its true position and views on Islam and Islamic teachings," it said.
The Pope on Tuesday repeated criticism of the Prophet Mohammad by the 14th century Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus, who said everything Mohammad brought was evil "such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached".
The Pope, who used the terms "jihad" and "holy war" in his lecture, added "violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul".
Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi defended the Pope's lecture and said he did not mean to offend Muslims.
"It was certainly not the intention of the Holy Father to undertake a comprehensive study of the jihad and of Muslim ideas on the subject, still less to offend the sensibilities of Muslim faithful," Lombardi told Vatican Radio.
A high-ranking Church source expressed fears for the Pope's safety, saying: "While I think the controversy will go away, it has done damage and if I were a security expert I'd be worried."
German Chancellor Angela Merkel told Bild newspaper the aim of the Pope's speech had been misunderstood.
"It was an invitation to dialogue between religions ... What Benedict XVI emphasised was a decisive and uncompromising renunciation of all forms of violence in the name of religion," she was quoted as saying in an article to appear on Saturday.
The Koran endorses the concept of jihad, often translated as holy war, but Muslims differ on conditions for it, with some saying it applies only for self-defence against external attack.

We Are Borg, Now Where's The Bar?

2006-09-15T08:54:00.000+10:00

The Sydney Morning Herald has completely missed a story about the first woman ever fitted with a bionic arm that works. Apparently she uses it as we use organic limbs, via muscles and nerves and whatnot that interface with a computer in the bionic limb. The work was done at the Office of Scientific Intelligence under the watch of Oscar Goldman and the woman's childhood friend Steve Austin. We eagerly await news of her adventures now that she is better than she was before. Better. Stronger. Faster.
SMH meanwhile has a story about why android sports events are still a fair way off. "How do you describe a lemon to a robot," asked one scientist. Who cares, as long as he can make an appletini.

Not-So-Superman

2006-09-15T08:42:00.000+10:00

Max Moore-Wilton, chairman of Sydney Airport Corporation, has outlined a plan which could see frequent fliers fast-tracked through security. While some see this as a good thing, others are not so sure.
"Hyphenated names usually mean trouble," Superman told News In Briefs. "But I do like the idea of my alter-ego not being strip searched. That Kent is one sick puppy."
When asked why Clark Kent would need to fly commercial anyway, Superman heard a cry for help from a nearby men's lavatory and rushed off.

Nobody Does It Better

2006-09-15T08:39:00.000+10:00

We go again to smh.com.au for a follow up on the Today Tonight story from yesterday.

"IN THE depths of the Papuan jungle, there lives a six-year-old boy called Wa-Wa from the Korowai tribe, whose members are said to be among the last people on earth to practise cannibalism.
He has been marked as a target for the tribe's next act of ritual killing. But it's not his fellow tribesmen he need worry about.
The public relations machines of Channel Seven and Channel Nine were in a frenzy yesterday as they tried to put a spin on the story of Today Tonight host Naomi Robson's incarceration in Indonesia, after she travelled there to file a story on the Korowai. Robson and her crew were picked up by Indonesian authorities when they entered the politically sensitive province without the correct visas.
Channel Nine was at pains to point out that Robson was in Papua following up a story covered by the Nine network's 60 Minutes in May this year. Nine reporter Ben Fordham had travelled to film the remote tribe with Paul Raffaele, a writer for the Smithsonian Institution. During the assignment, they had met a six-year-old boy from the tribe whose parents had died. The tribe members were suspicious he was possessed by evil spirits, Fordham reported, so he faced being killed and eaten in the next 10 years. After filming finished, they left him there.
Of course, Channel Seven would never be so callous. Robson and her crew, who were travelling with Raffaele, planned to reach the boy and "save" him. Then they were arrested. Yesterday, Seven sent out a press release claiming Robson's "mission" had been "sabotaged by a rival Australian television network".
The head of Seven's news and public affairs, Peter Meakin, said his crew had secured a team of locals to help Wa-Wa "or whatever his name is".
But they suspected Fordham and other sources within Nine had tipped Indonesian authorities off about Robson's visa violations, to foil their rival's story. In doing so, Fordham was risking the child's life, Meakin said.
"I can't think of too many people who had a motive to shop us into the authorities for trying to save a child from being eaten other than them," Meakin said.
Fordham last night denied any sabotage. Earlier David Hurley, the head of news and current affairs at Nine, said the claim was "risible".
"They get off a plane and they have at least a dozen camera cases … If you try to do that in Jayapura with your hair extensions hanging off you and you say, 'We are here to write a story on cannibals', what do you really expect them to say?"
Hurley said Fordham and his crew had investigated rescuing the boy after their 60 Minutes story, but were advised that would only put him in greater danger.
And what of little Wa-Wa?
"What's going to happen to the little boy is now in the lap of the gods," Meakin said.
Robson and her colleagues were tight-lipped when they arrived at Jakarta airport late last night, repeatedly telling the Herald they had been ordered not to comment. The five were escorted by an embassy official.
The Herald understands the team will leave for Australia, via Singapore, this morning."

What A Day!

2006-09-14T09:34:00.000+10:00

So much is happening I can't pick a story to poke fun at. So here's this morning's News In Briefs.

Today Tonight presenter Naomi Robson and friends have been detained in West Papua. It's understood the Australian government is petitioning Indonesia NOT to release them. "We're sick of it. Used car salesmen are dodgy, we get it!"

Paris Hilton has been mobbed after a fashion show in New York. While reports say that she was surrounded by photographers, we just have to believe one of them was holding a knife.

Australian singer Toby Rand's free ticket to rock'n'roll glory has been pulled from him at the last minute after the outright favourite failed to win the US reality TV show Rockstar: Supernova.Canadian rocker Lukas Rossi was crowned the winner this morning and has now earned the right to front drummer Tommy Lee's band, Supernova.
Rossi, who has similar looks to Australian Idol contestant Lee Harding, is described on the Rockstar: Supernova website as a gifted singer with a "Jeff Buckley meets Freddie Mercury" style. We can only assume that means he's got bad teeth but will get them fixed before outing himself as gay, getting drunk, and drowning in the Mississippi.

Now the BIG story is the shooting at Dawson College in Montreal, Canada. Details are sketchy but it looks like there are six dead, several injured, and the shooter may be dead also. The gunman was allegedly dressed in a black trenchcoat and had a 'cold face'.

I don't want to make light of the situation, but odds are good one of the following will be named as responsible: The Matrix, Marilyn Manson, GTA San Andreas, bullys, heavy metal, violent films, video games, comic books, Lord of the Rings, Leonardo DiCaprio, Elijah Wood, and Lindsay Lohan.

LONELYGIRL15 has been outed as a fraud! The youtube.com star is Kiwi Jessica Rose, an actress who joined forces with a couple of filmmakers to create a marketable brand name. Full story at http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/09/13/1157826998165.html
Next time you're at youtube, check out 'Chad Vader' or 'Ask A Ninja' instead.

Croc Bites Back

2006-09-14T09:26:00.000+10:00

OJ, me and my mate the taxman, by Paul Hogan
(published today at http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/my-mate-the-taxman-by-hoges/2006/09/13/1157827020116.html)

To whom it may concern,

According to The Sydney Morning Herald on August 24, 2006, I am in so much trouble with the ATO (notice how I just use their initials to protect their identity) that I have hired a "tax fraud specialist", a Washington lawyer named Scott Michel.
You got me. Almost. The last problem I had with the ATO was in 1972 when they claimed that I had "fudged" the overheads on my earnings from my pub "chook raffles". I did hire a lawyer then, my cousin "Shifty Joe" Hogan. He lost the case. He was disbarred in 1973. Since then my relationship with the ATO has been excellent. Probably because they were, by as far as you can throw your hat, the biggest beneficiaries of my movie endeavours.
In fact they even sent me Christmas cards every year … until I became a non-resident for tax purposes. I did write to them suggesting that, unlike me, my friends and our investors, they did not risk one cent, or one minute of their time, therefore it would only be fair to swap their share for ours. To date I have received no reply.
I do have a slight problem with "tax fraud specialist Scott Michel". I had never heard of him. Maybe one of my associates, "bankrupt" publican John "the Goanna" Cornell, or "colourful racing identity" accountant "Big Tony" Stewart, hired him. Not only had they never heard of him, he had never heard of us … until the SMH made the connection.
Here it is, pay attention, it's tricky. My tax returns are done by the reputable international accounting firm Ernst & Young.
About 18 months ago their Sydney office sought advice from their US office regarding my California state tax obligations. The US office then sought tax advice from another tax specialist, Michael Pfeifer. Michael Pfeifer works at the Washington law firm Caplin & Drysdale. Aha! Here's the link … Scott Michel works there too!! Of course you, the SMH, already know this information. It appears you know more about my business than I do. How come? Here's a headline for you even more honest than "Hogan hires tax fraud lawyer". I was once a client of CAA Talent Agency. So was O.J. Simpson. Hence "Hogan suspect in Nicole Simpson murder".
In closing, I would like to thank the SMH and The Australian for including a photo of me and referring to me in every second story about tax fraud, no matter who the story is about. As I am sure is your intent, the free publicity is a big help to me in any business ventures I try to develop in other countries.

A Grateful Reader

Paul Hogan

C/-Villa D'Skase, Spain.

PS A special note to all members of my large extended family. Please stop asking about your visa/debit cards. They must have been lost in the mail …

MORE Aussie Stupidity

2006-09-13T08:39:00.000+10:00

Apparently Steve Irwin fans have decided to take their revenge on stingrays by chopping their tails off. Ten rays have been found tail-less in southern Queensland a week after the Crocodile Hunter's death. Friends of the Irwin family have expressed their dismay at the acts, which they say run contrary to everything Steve stood for.

Das Musik

2006-09-12T08:00:00.000+10:00

Here's a production photo from 'Das Boot The Musical'. It follows the story of a young boy swept into the world of submarines and cabaret. Tim Rice and Elton John are reported to be working on the score.

A Nation Forgets

2006-09-11T09:10:00.000+10:00

"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. *We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by a sign stating: "For Whites Only."* We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.
And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.
But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

-Martin Luther King Jr.

SMH Makes Goose Of Self

2006-09-10T15:07:00.000+10:00

Car crashes into tree with 'almighty bang'

This was the headline accompanying another story about the Peter brock crash. Good thing too, I've found cars usually explode with flowers and sweet music.

Lunatic Ledger

2006-09-10T14:58:00.000+10:00

Heath Ledger will be playing The Joker in the upcoming Batman Film 'The Dark Knight'. While Ledger is the first to admit he's an unlikely choice for the role. But, Ledger has said he'll take a darker position than Jack Nicholson did in Tim Burton's Batman. Leger wants to "make it about the eyes, not the smile." Ledger obviously hasn't seen Batman before.

Not as sinister as Ledger?

New Vista

2006-09-09T15:04:00.000+10:00

Here's a look at how the World Trade Centre site will look in a few years time. It's hard to believe it's nearly been five years. And the truly tragic thing is how little we've learnt in those five years. The big building on the left is Freedom Tower. It will stand 1776ft tall.

It's Official

2006-09-08T16:24:00.000+10:00

From ABC Sport Online

Australian motor sport legend Peter Brock has died after his car hit a tree during a rally in Western Australia today.
Brock was competing on the first day of the Targa West Rally when his vehicle hit a tree near the small community of Gidgegannup, about 40 kilometres east of Perth.
The Confederation of Australian Motorsport says the crash happened at about midday local time.
Brock's co-driver has been taken to hospital in a stable condition.
Brock was 61 years old. No other cars are believed to have been involved.
Reigning V8 Supercars champion Russell Ingall said the motor racing community had been shocked by the accident.
He said Brock was well-liked and respected by fellow drivers.
"I had a lot of battles with him on the racetrack and he was fair," he said.
"You could trust the bloke and that was the difference. I wish we could say it was like that now but unfortunately it's not. He was one driver when you were racing against him, you knew you could trust him."
Brock's former Holden Racing team public relations manager Peter Weissel said he was absolutely devastated.
"The guy is just an icon, it is just a dreadful week for Australia when you think of Steve Irwin and now someone like Brock who you always thought was invincible," he said.
"When I was working with the team he had the odd fairly large crash and he always seemed to jump up there with a smile on the face and you could hear him place a quick quote for the media all the time," Mr Weissel said.

'Peter Perfect'
Known as 'Peter Perfect' and the 'King of the Mountain', Brock won the Bathurst 1000 nine times in the 1970s and 80s.
Brought up with three brothers on the northern fringes of Melbourne, Brock developed an early affection for fast cars.
In 1969 the Holden Dealer Team gave Brock his first break to drive at the Bathurst 1000 - he placed third.
He became the team's lead driver and won the 1979 race by a record six laps.
Brock retired from full-time racing in 1997 and established his own charity to help disadvantaged children, but returned to Bathurst to win the 24-hour race in 2003.
The editor of Wheels magazine, Jed Bulmer, described Brock as a consummate driving professional who won many accolades, but would be best remembered for his mastery of the race circuit at Bathurst.
"The great Australian touring car race and a race which is regarded as one of the most difficult touring car races in the world, and Peter was the nine-times winner there at what is known these days as the Bathurst 1000," he said.
"He had a long and very successful career there."